


The Brighter Dark

by RIP_quizzilla



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Appropriate Use of the Force, Badass Reader, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Character Development, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Force-Sensitive Reader, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Jedi Ben Solo, POV Kylo Ren, Reader-Insert, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, past trauma, reader is a strong female role model
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:00:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 42,915
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25794766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RIP_quizzilla/pseuds/RIP_quizzilla
Summary: You've pulled a million bounty hunting jobs before; this one was supposed to be just like any other. Get in, get out, collect enough credits to pay your rent. That was all you'd expected out of this gig.You certainly hadn't expected to run into the Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren.When you're unwittingly roped into pulling a heist for the First Order, you suddenly have a lot more things to worry about besides rent money- like how you're going to hide the fact that you and the Supreme Leader have a lot more in common than you're letting on.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 54
Kudos: 149





	1. Old Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You do your job.

**Ch. 1- Old Demons**

Pulling the trigger used to be the hardest part for you.

It’d been a long time now since you’d last said a silent prayer for the soul of whoever was about to meet the business end of your blaster.

After the first few kills, the novelty of that particular brand of guilt had started to wear off and been replaced with a familiar combination of numbness and calm.

The calm was to make sure your hands didn’t shake and your aim was true. The numbness was to help you ignore the part where you felt bad about it later.

But regardless of how many kills you’d made without blinking an eye (you’d lost count at this point) this one felt different for some reason. As you watched the unsuspecting Duros through his kitchen window, you somehow felt a twinge of guilt about killing him, and that really frustrated you. This guy was far from what anyone would consider an innocent man; you may not have known him personally, but you’d read his profile. This guy had red on his ledger.

But he was a bounty hunter, just like you.

He may have killed thousands and engaged in countless illegal activities- but hey, that wasn’t much different than what you had done.

So, yeah, killing someone who was more or less in the same boat you were in made you feel for the guy. Even if it was just a little bit.

Keeping your blaster sniper rifle trained on the back of his head, you begrudgingly meditated for a moment on what you were about to do.

_Rego Thane,_ you thought, _you’re a wanted man in over 12 systems. You’ve murdered, cheated and no doubt backstabbed yourself to the top of the little hill of crime you stand on….not that I’m one to judge._

You cringe. Hill of crime? Thank goodness you weren’t giving a real eulogy, you sucked at this.

_And while I’m sure you worked very hard to earn your place in this world, you unfortunately owe Groono Aball a lot of money and he doesn’t seem to like it when people don’t pay him back. So…….yeah. Whatever you believe waits for you on the other side of the veil, I guess I hope it goes easy on you._

You took a deep breath in through your nose and let it out through your lips, feeling the warm air bounce off the inside of your helmet and prickle your skin. You relaxed your trigger finger, but just before you could squeeze it tight you saw Thane’s head whip around and stare through the window in your direction.

You tensed, remaining as still as physically possible. You were too far away for him to see you with his naked eyes, (you weren’t an amateur) but you figured you were better safe than sorry.

You watched him like a hawk as he looked to the right, the left, up, down….the man was clearly paranoid that he was being watched. _Rightfully so,_ you thought.

Once he seemed sure he was alone, Rego Thane tentatively turned back to fixing his sad, pre-packaged dinner. That was when you struck.

_Pew!_

It was a clean shot, right through the back of his wrinkly blue head.

The silencer on your blaster made the deadly blow sound like a lot less of a big deal than it was- just how you designed it to be.

You watched as Rego Thane’s lifeless body fell forward onto his half-opened package of rations, then slid down to the floor. This was the part where you waited to make sure the job was done.

_3……….2……….1. Yep. He’s dead._

Tossing your rifle into the holster across your back, you picked up the gray coat you’d thrown down to lay on and threaded your arms through the sleeves. After checking to make sure you were leaving nothing behind, you began your descent down the fire escape from the rooftop where you had been camped out waiting for Thane for the last five hours.

Your agile movements made your long coat flutter behind you, picked up by the cool night air and the speed with which you hopped down the stairs towards the ground.

Nights like these- when you pulled off a job without a hitch, then made off as if you’d never even been there- were the kind that made you think you lived up to the name you’d come to be known by around the crime-ridden underbelly of Coruscant:

The Gray Ghost.

You still thought the title was a tad obnoxious. It was why you’d objected when Griggs first coined the nickname.

_“Come on,”_ they’d said, _“a name like that strikes fear into your fucking heart, man! Just listen- The Gray Ghost- OOOH doesn’t that just make you shiver?”_ They’d dropped their voice down to a grave whisper to say the name once more, not unlike the manner in which a child would tell scary stories around a campfire.

You had to admit, it suited you. Not just because of the gray coat and matte silver helmet you donned every day, but also because you were good at disappearing. You had always had a way of evading people’s attention until the moment you needed to be seen; it came to you as naturally as breathing.

You just wished the title didn’t sound so damn melodramatic.

Landing silently with the grace of a stray cat jumping down from a rooftop, you straightened your back and swiveled your head from right to left a few times, loosening up the tendons in your neck from being stuck in the same position for so long.

You really needed to stop taking these sniper jobs. Not only were they boring, but they never paid as well as you thought they should.

Once you reached Thane’s apartment door, you used your blaster pistol to quickly take out the lock.

In a nicer area, the sound of a blaster in the middle of an apartment building might have prompted the neighbors to alert authorities, but this wasn’t a nice area at all. Around here, blaster shots were just part of the ambiance.

You quickly made your way through the lackluster apartment and found Thane’s body exactly where you’d left it: dead as a doornail on the kitchen floor.

_Poor, unlucky schmuck,_ you thought against your better judgement. You did a quick sweep around the rest of the apartment to check for witnesses.

You knew no one was there- you’d been watching the place for the last five hours- but you liked to be thorough. This was what made you good at your job.

_No pictures of family or friends,_ you thought, _that makes me feel a bit better._

You crouched down next to the body and began to rifle through his pockets. (Snagging a few extra credits on a low-paying job never hurt anybody)

But right before you could peer into his wallet, you felt a chill raise the hairs on your arms.

And it wasn’t due to the temperature.

Your head shot up, eyes wide with recognition. This was the first instance in a _long time_ that you’d felt such a strong concentration of that cold, bone-chilling presence.

The Dark Side of the Force.

Your senses alert and at the ready, you brandished your blaster pistol in one hand and reached with the other for the dagger in your boot. You may not be a Jedi, but you knew that where the Dark Side lurked, a fight usually followed.

You might need Dorothy to get out of this one.

Five, six…maybe as many as ten men were stomping toward the front door and you could feel that the Dark Side was _strong_ with one of them.

You looked around for a place to hide, but Thane seemed to lead more of a… _minimalistic_ lifestyle. There was scarcely more than a bed outside of the kitchen. So you stayed crouched behind the cabinets.

You heard voices when the men entered the room, all of which were garbled by their helmets.

“It appears there has been a break-in, sir” you hear a robotic, all-business voice say.

_‘Troopers. Shit._

“What an astute observation.” A second voice replied, sending that same chill down your back. This voice was deep, even more garbled than the ‘trooper’s, and somehow sounded both angry and calm at the same time. “Search the perimeter.”

You heard the shuffle of footsteps fan out and cross the floor to all corners of the apartment. You stayed absolutely still, blaster pistol in hand, as you struggled to keep your breathing steady.

Footsteps grew louder to your right, and you braced yourself.

Getting caught on such an easy job was going to look very bad to potential clients.

You inhaled deeply and quietly, trying to rationalize the best way out of this, but the breath was cut short by a constricting feeling in your throat. Lips flying open, you struggled to inhale, exhale, anything- but to no avail. And when you tried to grasp at your throat by instinct, you found you couldn’t do that either. You couldn’t move at all.

_Fuck._

Still as a statue you waited, gasping for air and crouched behind the kitchen counter as heavy footsteps slowly made their way into your line of vision. Then all you could see through the visor of your helmet was black.

“What do we have here?”

You struggled to look up towards that smug, mechanized voice, but you were no match for a Force hold like this. So you continued trying (in vain) to breathe.

A deep chuckle rumbled out of your assailant. Then you felt the hold on your neck release, though the rest of your body was still rendered immobile. Air rushed back into your lungs, causing you to gasp and cough; but the relief was short-lived.

A leather hand gripped around your neck, cutting off your air-flow once again and lifting you up to meet him face to face.

What you didn’t expect was for that face to be the infamous helmet of Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren.

Your blood ran cold.

Red-hot feelings threatened to flood your senses- anger, loneliness, frustration, pain- it took every ounce of control you had to keep them at bay. Closing your eyes, you shrouded your mind with the Force just like you’d learned to do all those years ago.

_Stay out. Not mine. Not my feelings. Stay OUT._

The Supreme Leader’s helmet cocked to the side, questioning. Observing. “I sensed fear in you just now,” That low voice muttered through his vocoder. He leaned in, your helmets so close that they were almost touching. “Where did it go?”

You stayed quiet. Not just because of the hand around your throat, but also because you had no idea what to say to him. You’d always wondered if you’d see him again but had never thought of what you would say to him if you did.

_Why did you do it?_

_Do your memories haunt you like they haunt me?_

_Do you even remember who I am?_

Taking a shallow breath despite the thumb on your jugular, you lied through your teeth, “I’m not….afraid.”

He released you, letting you fall to the ground only to be hauled back up by ‘troopers grabbing your arms. You lifted your gaze to meet that of Kylo Ren’s. His gaze, however, was trained on the dead body to your left.

“What quarrel did you have,” he asked, turning back to you, “with Rego Thane?”

He was impossibly tall, standing over you in a way that made part of you want to shrink down to half your size; a part of yourself that you ignored.

“It wasn’t personal.” You huffed, “He owed Groono Aball 50,000 credits. I was just doing a job.” He was staring at you, undoubtedly trying to decide whether he believed you or not.

Lifting your hands up in a show of surrender, you add, “I can show you the wanted ad on him if you want, the money wasn’t even that good. I swear, it was just a job.”

You waited for a few moments as he contemplated this, and after an agonizingly long silence you heard a faint rush of air come from his helmet which you could only assume was a sigh. Taking a step towards you, the Supreme Leader tilted his head to peer into your visor.

“Unfortunately for you, Rego Thane was employed by the First Order as of this afternoon. So tell me,”

he sunk into a squat; and although you couldn’t see his eyes, you still felt as if he was staring straight through you, his unwavering gaze trained on you like a predator watching its prey.

“do you know what I do to people who interfere with affairs of the First Order?”

You gulped, hoping you sounded a hundred times more confident than you felt. “Sir, I meant no disrespect. I was only trying to collect a bounty, the wanted ad said nothing about Thane being aligned with the First Order. If I had known-“

“I could kill you right now, you know.”

The blood drained from your face at his words. You knew how easily he could kill you; you were well aware that he’d murdered people who’d deserved it a whole lot less than you did.

You were suddenly very grateful for your helmet, which was currently denying him the satisfaction of watching your face turn white as a ghost.

You waited silently to see if he would make good on his threat and slay you where you stood. _How would he do it?_ You wondered. Force-choke you to death? You doubted that he’d think you were worth the time. He’d probably run you through with his lightsaber. Did he still use the blue one you remembered? No, being so strong with the Dark Side now, it was safe to assume he’d built a new one, undoubtedly the blood-red color of the Sith…

“You’re lucky I still need a bounty hunter.” The Supreme Leader’s voice jerked you out of your death reverie.

“I’m sorry?”

“I don’t need an apology, I need someone to do the job that I was about to pay _him_ for.” He gestured casually to the dead Duros on the floor. “If you were skilled enough to kill a bounty hunter that came as highly recommended as Thane, then I suppose you’ll do just fine.” He looked at the ‘trooper to your right. “Take her to the ship.” And with that, he turned on his heel and headed towards the exit, followed by the ‘troopers with you in tow.

Your fight or flight response (showing up late to the party, as always) kicked into gear as the ‘troopers began to drag you behind him. You began to struggle, kicking and writhing in an effort to escape their grasp. “Wh-what? Hold up….wait, stop dragging me- HOLD ON!”

Kylo Ren stopped upon hearing your raised voice. You saw his gloved hands curl into fists at his sides as he turned his head ever so slightly to the left, the side of his mask directing his words to you.

“Would you rather I killed you and found someone else?”

You actually thought about it. After all you’d done to put the past behind you- all of the people who’d left you behind, the hurdles you’d had to jump; you’d learned to overcome. To let it make you stronger.

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d thought about that life-changing day seventeen years ago. Now _he_ of all people shows up and all of a sudden you were a scared little eleven-year-old again. Frozen. Useless.

You refused to die feeling like that.

“No.” you muttered.

He paused for a moment before turning back and resuming his dramatic exit as the ‘troopers led your defeated ass to what you assumed must be the Supreme Leader’s ship.

Thus began your first day of being affiliated with the First Order.

Woo fuckin’ hoo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y’all!!  
> Thank you so much for reading the first chapter of The Brighter Dark! I’ve already written Chapter 2 and am in the editing stage right now, so I plan to have it posted by next Saturday. Hopefully I’ll see you back here when it’s up! Also don’t be afraid to say hi in the comments! I would absolutely love to hear from you :)


	2. Takes One to Know One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plan is set in motion.

**Ch. 2- Takes One to Know One**

The awkward silence in the conference room was so palpable, you swore you could have reached out and touched it.

You wished that whoever had decorated the Finalizer had put a little more effort into décor. For the last ten minutes since you’d sat down in this conference room, you had been letting your attention wander over every inch of the four walls, ceiling and floor at least a hundred times just so you could avoid the beady green eyes sitting across the table from you; it was starting to get old. You’d give anything for a book right about now, if only to have an excuse to ignore the redheaded creep who just wouldn’t stop _staring._

You were also tired. _So_ tired. It had been deep into the night when Kylo Ren discovered you in Rego Thane’s apartment; and after being marched across the city, into a shuttle, flown to the Finalizer, and paraded around the ship until you’d reached this conference room, only to be sat down in front of a pasty looking nerd itching for a staring contest- you were ready for a nap.

After studying the same paint scratch on the conference table for the umpteenth time, you heard an irritated sigh from your silent companion.

Your eyes flitted up to check if he was still staring at you.

Yep. He was.

Relaxing back in your chair, you crossed your arms across your chest and let out a sigh of your own; you made an effort to make it sound even more irritated than his.

He narrowed his eyes at you. “Are you mocking me?” he sneered.

You remained silent, smirking under your helmet.

After a moment of waiting for you to reply, he rolled his eyes and turned them to watch the door instead.

 _Hah,_ you thought, _I win._

After what felt like an eternity, the door finally burst open and Kylo Ren sauntered into the room.

“Really, Ren, is it _that_ difficult for you to show up on time?”

If the Supreme Leader was phased by the ginger’s condescending tone, he didn’t show it. He strolled over to the head of the table and proceeded to take his seat.

“I’m always on time, General Hux. You just got here early.” That low, mechanized voice echoed off the metal walls. “You may begin the briefing now.”

The redhead- whom you could only assume was General Hux- looked from Ren to you and back to Ren, searching for some sort of answer to an unspoken question. When he didn’t get one, he gestured at you with an open hand and spat, “Are you going to tell me who the hell this is?”

Kylo propped up his elbows on the table and laced his fingers together, sighing impatiently.

With all the sighing these First Order fucks did, you were surprised there was still air in their lungs.

“Rego Thane is dead,” Kylo said, then nodded in your direction. “She is responsible. Her debt to the First Order will be paid upon her completion of this mission. Now if you don’t mind, General,” His helmet tilted ever so slightly to the side, challenging. “the briefing.”

You watched Hux’s face turn pink. He looked like he was torn between questioning Ren’s decision and throwing a temper tantrum. Stars, watching him get upset was entertaining.

“As you wish,” he spat, “ _Supreme Leader.”_

Satisfied, Ren leaned back in his chair and let his hands fall to his lap. “Excellent. I don’t have all day.” He sounded smug as hell, and while you weren’t exactly the Supreme Leader’s number one fan, it was still difficult for you to suppress a chuckle as Hux dejectedly scurried to the presentation screen at the opposite end of the room.

While Hux was fiddling with the controls to begin his presentation, you chanced a peek at the Supreme Leader. You glanced to your left- eyes only, so your helmet kept perfectly still- only to be met with his penetrating gaze boring into you.

You quickly averted your eyes and took a sharp breath, hoping he didn’t hear. A blush began to creep up your cheeks.

 _Maybe he_ does _know who I am,_ you wondered. It wasn’t likely; after all, you had been _so_ young the last time you’d seen him. Come to think of it, you weren’t even sure if you had ever heard him say your name back then. It was improbable that he would even remember you, much less recognize you if he saw your face.

You pointedly ignored his eyes on you, inhaling slowly and silently to calm yourself. Like you had done so many times before, you focused on the feeling of the Force running through you. It was in your veins, in your mind, in your heart. Steadying you, always and forever.

Your shoulders relaxed ever so slightly as you let the breath out. It was funny; you had only been about four years old when you were taught how to use the Force to calm your nerves, but that trick had stuck with you even after all these years.

It was almost as if the Force was the only constant in your life.

From the corner of your eye, you saw the Supreme Leader cock his head to the side, still watching your every move.

He was studying you.

“Ahem.”

General Hux’s voice captured your attention, both of you turning to face him and the presentation screen, which was now displaying an image of a tall, slender woman who appeared to be in her early forties.

Hux gestured to the screen, “This,” he began, “is Councilwoman Mara Lora. She comes from a long line of allies to the Republic, the Galactic Empire, and is currently a generous supporter of the First Order.”

You observed the councilwoman’s photo- her dress looked expensive, made of delicate-looking, ruby-red material that was undoubtedly worth more than what you usually paid for a month’s rent. Her facial features, however, were anything but delicate. Sharp cheekbones, scrutinizing eyes, and a haughty expression that clearly said, ‘I’m better than you.’

Hux continued, “Councilwoman Lora has accumulated a rather impressive collection of objects of a certain…. _nature_.” Hux hesitated.

“She collects Sith artifacts.” Kylo Ren clarified. “Valuable objects that have been imbued with the Dark Side of the Force.”

“Is she Sith herself?” you asked, turning towards Ren. It was the first time you’d spoken since being brought onto the ship; you were happy to hear that your voice sounded like it always did when you talked business- calm, cool, and collected. Effortlessly confident.

“No.” Kylo replied, holding your gaze for a moment before looking back to the screen. “You could call her a Sith enthusiast. She holds no power over the Force, but her family ties to the Dark Side go back generations.” He paused before adding, “She is a distant relative of a long dead Sith Lord named Count Dooku.”

You recognized the name but didn’t know much beyond that. You nodded and turned your attention back to Hux as the image of Mara Lora was replaced with that of an ornately decorated black box.

“This is the most recent addition to her collection,” Hux continued, “It is in the best interest of the First Order that this artifact be brought into our possession.”

“What does it do?” The words left your mouth before you could help yourself. Hux’s eyes narrowed on you, his mouth pursing as if he were sucking on a lemon.

“ _That_ is no concern of yours.” He said, before turning his attention back to the screen. “As I was saying, the First Order requires that this artifact be placed in our possession. However, when one of our operatives contacted the councilwoman about purchasing it, she denied ever having it at all.”

“So why not just search her home and take it? You said she’s an ally, so I doubt she’d make much of a fuss.” You kept your arms crossed over your chest while you waited for Hux’s rebuttal.

His eyebrows furrowed. You got the impression that he didn’t like being interrupted.

You decided to make a habit of interrupting him whenever an opportunity presented itself. 

“If you must know,” the General sneered, “Councilwoman Lora is a very well-connected member of society. She has a fair amount of pull with many benefactors of the First Order and losing her support would cost the Order a substantial amount of money.” He wrinkled his nose in a show of distaste, “This is why we have resorted to… _outsourcing._ ”

You let that sink in. “You need it to look like an outside job.”

Hux nodded. “If she believes that the artifact was taken by a petty thief, she will have no reason to suspect the First Order.”

You turned this over a few times in your head. Burglary jobs weren’t something you usually picked up- they didn’t pay as well as bounties did. But it wasn’t like you had much of a choice this time around, so if you had to pick a few locks and swipe an ancient doodad from some First Order aristocrat, then so be it.

Anything to escape the traumatic memories that kept bubbling up whenever you were around Kylo Ren.

You leaned forward and placed your forearms on the table. “If you want this to look like it’s really the work of an ordinary burglar, I’ll need to take more than just that.” You say, nodding at the screen. “In a house full of rare, expensive artifacts, a petty thief is going to grab as much as they can carry without slowing them down.”

You paused, hoping they caught your drift. You were about to pull off a job for the richest organization in the galaxy and make off with no pay other than your life. You’d be damned if you didn’t at least try and negotiate for a more favorable outcome.

“Take whatever you want, bounty hunter,” said the Supreme Leader, seemingly unbothered by your attempt to barter with him, “but be aware that the First Order reserves the right to confiscate any stolen goods that may be of use to us.”

The corners of your mouth tugged downward in disappointment, but you nodded nonetheless. You’d take what you could get.

“Excellent,” said Hux, clasping his hands behind his back. “You will depart for Coruscant tomorrow evening accompanied by a handful of ‘troopers-”

“No.” interrupted the Supreme Leader. You turned your attention to him as he stood from his chair at the head of the table. “’Troopers would draw too much attention. She will be escorted by one of my knights.”

Hux seemed irritated, but too over it to argue. “Very well. Any questions, miss…?” He quirked an eyebrow, silently asking you to fill in the blank.

You heard a soft chuckle tumble through Kylo’s vocoder. Attention still on him, you waited patiently to hear what he thought was so funny.

“The locals call her the _Gray Ghost_.” Kylo said, his voice betraying his amusement.

_So he’s done his research, then._

You stared him down, refusing to let him fluster you.

“Most people just call me Gray.”

“You’ve created quite the character for yourself.” He mused.

“Takes one to know one.”

The quip had shot out of you without a second thought, and you instantly regretted it.

 _Mouthing off to the Supreme Leader? Really? Do you_ want _to get the life choked out of you?_

You waited for his reaction, bracing yourself and savoring the air in your lungs. But to your surprise, he just stood there, the feel of his eyes almost physical through his mask. Then, abruptly, he spun around and walked out the door, his cloak a billowing black wave in the wake of his dramatic exit.

 _Drama queen_.

That left you and Hux, alone in the conference room once again.

After a beat, he cleared his throat and exited the room. He returned almost immediately with an entourage of ‘troopers.

“Captain,” Hux addressed the ‘trooper closest to him, “please escort Miss Gray to her lodgings. She is to remain there until she is collected tomorrow afternoon.”

“Just Gray.” You said, pushing out your chair and making your way to your escort. “No ‘Miss’.”

Hux massaged his temples, eager to end the conversation. “Whatever, I don’t care.”

You shrugged, following the ‘troopers out into the hallway.

When you arrived at your room, the first thing you did was flop onto the bed.

It was small, lumpy, and the blanket laid across the mattress smelled like mildew, but you were too tired to care. It was a bed, and you hadn’t gotten sleep in over twenty hours.

You were about to remove your helmet to make yourself more comfortable but stopped short when you remembered there might be cameras in your room. You paused, scanning the room for any surveillance cams. When you were satisfied that you really were alone, you removed our helmet at last.

Fresh air caressed your face, and you squinted as your eyes adjusted to the fluorescent lights without the rose-colored tint of your visor to dim their blare.

You began shedding your multiple layers: your thin leather gloves, coat, boots, belt, and vest- all varying shades of charcoal and gray. You left on your knit gray turtleneck and tight black trousers, not wanting to get too comfortable in this new space. You wished they hadn’t confiscated your firearms; having them with you made you feel safe and secure, especially when in unfamiliar territory. Luckily, they hadn’t noticed Dorothy.

You reached down to your ankle and unclasped the small silver cylinder from its leather strap. The hilt of your custom-made dagger was thin, slender enough to easily fit in your hand. You brushed your thumb over the smooth circular button on the side of the hilt and pressed it.

A blaze of white light shot out from the front of the hilt; a thin but deadly column of plasma extended just shy of one foot in length. You gazed at it in admiration- Dorothy never failed to make your heart skip a beat; her beauty unmatched by any other weapon you’d ever laid eyes on.

You extinguished the blade with a sigh and placed the hilt under your pillow before laying your head down. They may have given you a bed, but you were no idiot- you weren’t a guest here. Someone could walk in at any moment, and you weren’t about to go to sleep without keeping one eye open, so to speak. Tired as you may be, self-preservation was your top priority. It had to be, when playing with the cards you’d been dealt in life.

Slowly, you let yourself drift into a shallow slumber- one hand draped over the curve of your waist, the other underneath your pillow wrapped around Dorothy.

But as you sunk below the depths of consciousness, you couldn’t ignore the sensation that someone was watching you. 

Reaching out groggily with the Force, you felt for any semblance of unwanted visitors within the confines of your room but came up empty. So you gave into your fatigue, succumbing to the strong pull of sleep.

Blissfully unaware of the ghoul keeping watch outside your door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Let me know what you think in the comments.


	3. Ghouls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You've piqued the curiosity of Kylo and the Knights of Ren.

**Ch. 3- Ghouls**

Vicrul was no Sith, but he knew the Force.

He knew the way it felt when it rushed through his veins, an all-consuming fire that warmed his bones and readied his muscles for the battle ahead. He reveled in it; thrived when it took over. Its strength was something he felt compelled to follow.

This was why it was taking every ounce of self-control he had in him to stay outside the bounty hunter’s room instead of barging in to see just who exactly was behind that door, and what gave her the right to flood his senses with a Force signature as strong as this.

Vicrul huffed, impatient, arms crossed and stance wide as he held his post outside the silver door. When Master Ren commanded that he stand guard outside the bounty hunter’s chambers all night, Vicrul’s first instinct had been to laugh. Guard duty? Any token ‘trooper could’ve done that. Master Ren’s new prisoner technically wasn’t even a prisoner, so why did she need a guard at her door?

Now he understood. Outside of his encounters with the Jedi and Master Ren, Vicrul had never come across a person with this kind of energy before.

He’d felt it before he ever reached her door; the Force cloaking her like a blanket, a shield of energy cocooning her as she slept. It felt like a constant thrum, echoing in his bones and leaving warmth in its wake. It felt raw and untamed, vulnerable and inviting. It was a wildness he felt inexplicably drawn to.

This was why Master Ren had wanted Vicrul to watch her door. Stormtroopers wouldn’t be any match for someone this powerful, she’d escape without breaking a sweat. Also, his strength in the Force meant that he was the perfect person to feel out just whom exactly they were dealing with.

But as fun as it was to stand there all night soaking up a power he wasn’t allowed to touch, Vicrul was starting to get antsy. War, carnage, chaos- that was what he was used to, not guard duty. He almost wished she’d try _something_. He’d been there for six hours now, and Vicrul had already started hopping up and down just to get his blood moving. He was aching for a good fight.

The sound of heavy footsteps snapped him back to attention as the Supreme Leader rounded the corner. Vicrul straightened his spine, hoping his Master hadn’t seen him hopping in place like an energetic child (though if he had, he wouldn’t have been surprised.) He saw Kylo’s steps slow as he drew closer to the room, his attention zeroing in on the door behind Vicrul, who nodded knowingly. “I feel it too. Where did you find this one?”

“Crouching behind the kitchen counter of her most recent kill.” Said Master Ren as he came to a stop across the hall and placed his hands behind his back. “Report.”

Vicrul relaxed his stance a bit and scratched the back of his neck. “Not much to report, Master. She fell asleep shortly after I got here. Her Force signature grew substantially after she drifted off, though.”

Kylo kept his gaze fixated on the door. “I sensed that she was strong with the Force from the beginning, but it felt… different, before. Duller. Less…”

“Overwhelming?” Vicrul finished. Kylo nodded.

He extended his right hand slightly, undoubtedly trying to get a better look into the aura radiating from the room. “She must have had this power the whole time, but was smothering it by sheer force of will.”

He raised his hand higher, fingers flexing with intent, and Vicrul watched rapt with anticipation. He knew what Kylo was about to do; Vicrul had seen him perform this same procedure countless times before. It was Master Ren’s specialty- looting the minds of those who dared to defy him, those who thought they could hide information from their Supreme Leader. Vicrul had watched many a man cry for mercy when his master invaded their thoughts and slowly drove them insane. No one could hide from Kylo Ren, and Vicrul couldn’t help but envy that kind of power.

Kylo’s hand dropped suddenly as he took a half step back, and Vicrul heard a surprised huff escape his helmet. “Master..?” he asked, tentatively. Kylo was silent; he just stood there, his eyes still trained on the door.

Finally, he answered, “Tell Kuruk to ready the Buzzard, he’ll be taking the bounty hunter to Coruscant in the morning.” Vicrul curtly nodded his head, confused but smart enough to not ask questions. “Yes, Master.” But Kylo was already down the hall, fists curled as he stormed out of sight.

***

Kylo’s brain swam with questions, and it was all he could do not to ignite his saber and melt a new doorway into the wall.

_How could she block him?_

This girl was a nobody, a common criminal that he’d plucked from the shitty apartment of a dead man. There was absolutely no reason that she should be able to resist him and yet, she did. While she was _sleeping._

He barely stopped to wait for the doors to open when he got to his chambers. Once he was alone, he ripped off his helmet, practically slamming it on his bedside table. After shrugging off his cowl, he went deeper into his quarters to seek advice from the only person he knew to turn to. He sat down in front of the basin, bowing his head reverently.

“Grandfather,”

Kylo received no answer, though he hadn’t been expecting one. For some reason Kylo always paused after addressing the disfigured helmet that he frequently consulted in his chambers. Maybe a part of him was naively hoping for a sign that the one family member whose opinion mattered to him was listening.

“I’m so confused.” He continued, “I think…the Force led her to me…that I was meant to find her.” Kylo struggled to understand how the bounty hunter was supposed to fit into his story. “But what is she to me? What part does she play?”

He stared at the helmet. It stared back.

Frustrated, Kylo scooted his chair away from the pedestal and stalked across the room to a small safe embedded in the wall next to his bed. After punching in a few numbers, the safe beeped and released a latch, allowing Kylo to reach in and pick up a smooth black disk with uneven, jagged edges. It was small, only about the size of his fingertip. He studied it in his hand, running his thumb over the flat surface and watching as the light glinted off the golden trimming at its edges.

He had one piece of the puzzle. Once the girl had pulled off the job that she was given, Kylo would have the other. He enclosed the disk in his gloved hand and turned to face the transparisteel window looking out into the massive expanse of stars. He would finish the mission; he needed to focus on one task at a time. Once he got what he needed from the Councilwoman, he could decide what to do with the bounty hunter. She was a threat, no doubt about it, and would need to be dealt with. The only question was how.

Kylo took a deep breath, centering himself as he exhaled. He tried to clear his mind as he stared out into space, but no matter how hard he tried, one question kept bubbling back up to the surface.

_Who is she?_

***

“Alright fuckers, let’s get this show on the road!”

Vicrul flicked on the lights and was greeted with a chorus of deep groans. The cabin on the Finalizer that the Knights of Ren shared wasn’t small, but then again neither were the Knights. It was hard not to feel cramped in any room when they were all in there at once.

“I swear to every fucking god, Vic, if you don’t turn those lights back off in five seconds I’m shoving your damn scythe up your ass.” Trudgen kept his face shoved in his pillow, his body refusing to admit that his mind had already woken up. For being the most physically strong out of the Knights, he certainly acted like a baby more often than any of them.

Vicrul leaned against Trudgen’s bedpost, holding his helmet at his side. His lips quirked up into a shameless grin. “Don’t threaten me with a good time, Trudy.”

A pillow caught Vicrul in the face, and his shoulders shook as he laughed. The assault had come from Ap’lek, who was shaking his raven-haired head in humorous disbelief. “You’re a freak, Vic.” He said as he buttoned his trousers. Ap’lek and the other knights- minus Trudgen -had already begun gearing up. Waking up early was nothing they weren’t used to. Trudgen was just lazy in the mornings.

“Yeah, don’t I know it.” Vic replied as he made his way over to Kuruk, who was quietly securing his gauntlets over his sleeves. He was pale, tall, and thin, with long limbs and high cheekbones that only added to his spectre-like appearance. “Master Ren said to get the Buzzard ready, you’re going to be escorting the bounty hunter to Coruscant.”

Kuruk peered up at Vicrul, studying his face for a moment. “There’s something you’re not telling me.” He said. Vicrul paused, then sighed. “Watch her. She’s more than what she seems.”

Kuruk quirked an eyebrow at him through his pale yellow locks. “That’s awfully vague,” he said, and waited for Vicrul to elaborate.

Vicrul looked uncomfortable, like he wasn’t sure exactly how to word his next sentence. Finally, he gave in and said, “She’s strong with the Force. Though I have an inkling she isn’t aware of just _how_ strong.”

Kuruk raised his eyebrows, taking that in. “Should I be expecting a fight?”

“You should always be expecting a fight.” This came from Ushar, whose bed sat only a few feet from Kuruk’s. He was the oldest of the Knights, as well as the most intense. Having been a Knight of Ren for longer than any of the others, Vicrul and his brothers regarded him with almost as much respect as they did Master Ren.

“If Master Ren thought she would cause any trouble, he would be sending her with more than just you, Kuruk. We must trust our leader’s judgement.” With that, Ushar donned his helmet and sauntered out of the cabin.

Vicrul turned to Kuruk. “You heard the man; nothing to worry about.” He smiled at Kuruk reassuringly. Kuruk shrugged and continued adjusting his armor. Taking that as his cue to leave, Vicrul turned and walked back towards the exit. As he passed by Trudgen’s bed, he grabbed the corner of his blanket and gave it a sharp tug. He’d only meant to rip it off of Trudgen, but instead sent him rolling off the bed and onto the floor with a grunt.

“FUCK YOU, VIC!”

Vicrul snickered and continued through the doorway, throwing Trudgen a little wave as he exited the cabin. Putting his helmet back on, he made his way to the dining hall to grab something to eat. If he was lucky, he might get there before Ushar ate all of the muja muffins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot begin to explain how happy it has made me whenever you guys say you're enjoying my story. It makes my heart swell and I just feel so warm and fuzzy inside :) So here, I know it's short, but have a chapter from Vicrul & Kylo's perspectives! I have a Word doc with pictures of the actors that I imagine as the Knights of Ren for this story, so if y'all would like to see that let me know!


	4. Hope You Like Scones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You (sort of) make a friend.

**Ch. 4- Hope You Like Scones**

If there was one thing you would take away from your experience working with the First Order thus far, it was the knowledge that they had no shortage of awkward silences to go around.

Only about ten minutes had passed since you had taken off in an ominous-looking black ship that you’d heard someone refer to as The Night Buzzard and already you were growing restless. You’d awakened long before the tall shadow of a pilot had come to collect you from your chambers, and you were aching to get some energy out.

You exhaled slowly, letting your breath fog up the visor of your helmet and cloud your view of the back of the pilot’s seat. You had opted to keep it on; even though it was highly unlikely that the Supreme Leader would recognize you after all these years, you didn’t want to take your chances. Unless you were eating or sleeping, the helmet stayed on.

Bored and looking for literally anything to entertain yourself with, you stood from the metal crate you had chosen as your perch and started to look around the common area of the ship. _Let’s see,_ you thought, _I spy with my little eye…_

To your right, you found a pair of metal doors that had been built into the interior of the ship. Figuring them to be hiding some sort of closet, you smirked and eagerly started fiddling with the keypad on one of the doors.

“Hey, what’s the Supreme Leader’s birthday?” you called in the direction of the cockpit.

At first you were met with silence, which made sense- the guy didn’t really seem like much of a talker. But a few seconds later, you heard a bewildered “…What?”

You broke out into a grin. _Finally,_ some conversation.

“I said, what’s the Supreme Leader’s birthday?”

“Yeah, I heard you. Just… a little confused as to why you’re asking.” He sounded tentative, which surprised you. You hadn’t expected anyone who looked as menacing as he did to be the shy type.

You started to punch random buttons on the keypad, filling the air with various “beeps” and “boops.” “I’m trying to get this door to open, figured he’s the kind of guy who’d use his birthday as his passcode just so he doesn’t forget it.”

The pilot’s head whipped around, visibly panicked even with his helmet covering his face. “Don’t touch anything!” he yelled.

You raised up your hands in a vague defensive gesture. “Alright, sorry.” You remained where you stood until the pilot repositioned his gaze onto the sky ahead. Cautiously, you crossed the threshold of the cockpit and quickly took a seat in the copilot’s chair, eyes still trained on him. His head slowly turned to acknowledge you.

You both sat there expectantly, waiting for the other to speak, until the pilot finally let out a barely audible sigh and refocused on the windshield. Satisfied with his unspoken permission to remain in the cockpit, you nestled your rear into the seat and released a sigh of your own, relaxing your shoulders. 

“So what are you, some kind of special-ops stormtrooper?” you ask, throwing your hands behind your head to use them as a cushion between your skull and the hard metal seat.

He kept his eyes forward. “I look like a stormtrooper to you?”

“No,” you answered, “but I didn’t have a better guess.”

“I’m not a stormtrooper.”

“Yeah, I gathered that.” You continued to study him, taking in his ribbed tunic with its mud-stained hem, his iron gauntlets that were covered in little nicks and scratches, a sign that this man had seen battle up-close on more than one occasion. You looked closer at his helmet, which had blinders on either side, rendering his vision tunneled and focused. He had multiple holsters strapped onto his person, but not all of them were filled. He must not have anticipated needing a heavy artillery to play taxi to a bounty hunter for the day. You tried not to let that offend you.

“Are you a pilot then?” you asked, knowing full well that if that’s all he was, he would not have so many holsters to begin with, empty or not.

“What do you think I’m doing now?” his retort dripped with sass.

“You know what I meant; are you _just_ a pilot?”

“No, I am not _just_ a pilot.”

“What are you then? What’s your job description, what do you put on your resume?”

“You talk an awful lot.”

You crossed your arms and huffed. “Not usually, but keeping someone cooped alone up in a room for 24 hours tends to make them a little chatty.”

He sighed before deciding to humor you. “I follow Master Ren’s orders, just like the other Knights of Ren. My job description is whatever he wants it to be.”

You snorted. “The Knights of Ren? So he has _Knights_ now?”

He kept his gaze forward. “Yep.”

The awkward silence returned. After a few more seconds of waiting for him to elaborate, you gave up and tried to start up the conversation again.

“So what’s your name?” you asked.

His silence persisted for a moment longer before he replied, “Kuruk.”

“What kind of a name is that?”

“What’s _your_ name, then?”

Now it was your turn to be silent. You uncrossed your arms and shifted in your seat, bringing your knee to your chest and looking away from Kuruk out your side of the windshield. “People call me Gray.”

“I didn’t ask what people called you.”

You narrowed your eyes and looked back at him; this time your gaze met his. He kept looking at you for a moment before refocusing on the path of stars ahead.

You weren’t sure how you felt about this guy; at first he had seemed shy and, frankly, fun to mess with. But now it was clear that he wasn’t going to put up with any of your shit. What a shame, since you were tired & hungry, so you had a lot of shit to give. As if on cue, your stomach started to growl.

He tilted his head in your direction. “Hungry?” he asked. You hadn’t been given anything to eat since boarding the Finalizer, so yes, you were very hungry. You nodded. Kuruk took one hand from the controls and reached into a worn black leather bag that had been sitting on the floor by his seat. After blindly feeling around for a few seconds he pulled out something that had been wrapped in crinkled aluminum foil. He held it out and you reached to take it from his gloved hand. Cautiously, you unwrapped foil and inside was a slightly smushed pastry.

“There were supposed to be muja muffins today, but they were all gone by the time I got to breakfast. Hope you like scones.” He sounded like he was trying to sound indifferent, but the kind gesture wasn’t lost on you. You let yourself smile.

“I love them, actually. Thank you.” You started to wrap the scone back up in the foil.

“You’re not going to eat it now?” He asked.

You shook your head. “Nah, I’ll have it once we land.”

“But you said you were hungry, just eat it now.”

“No, seriously, I’m fine. I’ll just eat it later.”

Kuruk looked at you once again, the air growing tense. “What are you hiding under that helmet that has you willing to starve?”

You stared back at him, challenging. “I didn’t realize this was an interrogation.”

Kuruk let out a short laugh, “You can dish it but you can’t take it, huh?”

“Can’t take what, exactly?”

“I mean, it’s not as fun when someone else is asking _you_ all the questions, is it?”

You jabbed a finger at him, accusingly. “That’s not fair; nothing I asked you was personal.”

“Ah, so you keep the mask on for _personal_ reasons?” You could hear the amusement in his voice. He was messing with you; this guy had taken your conversation and completely turned the tables on who was the messer and the messee. _Smug piece of shit._

You crossed your arms over your chest and huffed. “Helmet stays on. And yes, it stays on _for personal reasons._ Any more questions?”

Kuruk kept his gaze on yours, and you could tell that he definitely had more questions to ask you. But they remained unspoken, and instead he let out a soft chuckle that shook his shoulders ever so slightly as he turned his attention back to the control panel and started punching a few buttons and switches.

“Nope,” he replied, “but I can’t promise I won’t have more later.” 

Once you were docked in the landing bay of a First Order station in Coruscant, you and Kuruk exited the ship and headed towards the gates of the city in the upper levels. Kuruk spoke to you without turning his head.

“You have six hours. Organize your own transportation there and back; nothing can be traced back to the First Order. Rendezvous back here.” You reached the gates and he turned towards you, unseen eyes boring into you through the slits in his helmet. “If you’re late, I hunt you down. Understood?”

You stood straight and unmoving, trying to mask the pang of fear that echoed through your ribcage. “Loud and clear.” And with that, he turned to walk one way as you walked the other. Once you were far enough away that you were certain Kuruk was long gone, you sought out the nearest communications booth. You needed to make a call.

“ _Yep?”_ The familiar voice crackled through the speaker. There was no holo-projection; Griggs never had told you whether they didn’t use holo because they valued their anonymity or because holo was too expensive. You surmised that both reasons were likely involved. “It’s Gray,” you said, “can you meet me at Rik’s?”

“ _Shit, man, you know I’ve always got time for you. I’ll be there in two shakes.”_ they paused before adding, _“You want the usual?”_

“Can’t today. Keeping the helmet on until further notice.”

_“Sounds complicated.”_

“You’re not wrong. See you there.”

Rik’s Cantina was the usual haunt of any sellsword in Coruscant- mercenaries, bounty hunters, thugs, thieves, cheats & the lot were all frequent patrons of this dark and discreet hole in the wall. The owner, a Hutt who called herself Queen Jool, enforced a very strict “no barfights” policy, which made this establishment a favorite for those who valued discrepancy and a quiet place to mind their own business. You and Griggs were regulars.

You crossed the threshold of the cantina and made your way to your usual table in the corner, where Griggs was already waiting for you with a half-empty beer in their hand. They nodded when they saw you approaching and waited silently for you to sit down before speaking.

“So what’s up? You sounded urgent on the call.” They hunched forward so that you wouldn’t have to answer too loudly. Secrecy was not something in your line of work that needed to be pointed out on a situational basis; it was a given.

Leaning forward in kind, you placed both elbows on the table. “Remember the job I was pulling for Groono Aball?” you asked. Griggs nodded, you sighed. “I can’t dish out too many details, but killing that guy ended up pissing off the wrong people. I’ve gotten into some deep shit.”

Griggs’ eyes widened and they let out a chuckle. “Damn, that does sound complicated. What do you need from me?” The corner of your mouth quirked up under your helmet into a small smile; this is what you loved about Griggs- they always went straight to the point, and they never asked more questions than they needed to.

“I need a ride. I’m pulling a job on the upper levels, some councilwoman’s place. I’ve got six hours to plan, pull it off, and be back at the docks, but it shouldn’t be too difficult from what they told me. I have maps, schematics, security systems, everything. I can’t guarantee what your cut will be but-”

“Girl, I know you’re good for it. I’m in.” They downed the rest of their beer and wiped their mouth, the corners curling up into a mischievous grin. “Besides, I’ve got nothing better to do tonight. And you said the person we’re fucking over is a councilwoman?”

You nodded, and Griggs smiled even wider. “I love it when the job is for a good cause. Let’s fuck up some rich people’s shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for being patient with updates!! I just started at a new job and things have been crazy but I absolutely adore the work that I'm doing. I took a lot of time writing the scene with Kuruk, and Griggs is a character that I've been thinking about a lot, so this chapter is one that I feel particularly proud of, even though it isn't very long. Hope you liked it anyways :)


	5. I Always Finish the Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You improvise.

Councilwoman Mara Lora could obviously afford to have a few things stolen from her three-story mansion; you wondered if she would even notice that anything was missing once you’d swiped what you’d come here for.

Her estate was absolutely massive, complete with black tiled floors that were polished to such perfection that you could clearly make out your own reflection in them as you silently snuck down the back hallway. Expensive-looking paintings of stern-looking people stared down at you from their residences on the walls, their facial expressions severe and challenging. For a split second you wondered if any of the portraits had microscopic cameras embedded into their pupils. It was a ridiculous notion, you knew, but you couldn’t help but feel watched as you made your way towards the next checkpoint that would be the key to your success on this job.

_ Just a little further,  _ you thought as you counted the rooms on your left and right.  _ One on the left, two, three on the right, four and five on the left, and-  _ there it was. A locked door that was seemingly unassuming, but you knew better. The control room.

After memorizing the plans for the councilwoman’s home that General Hux had provided, you had quickly determined that this needed to be your first stop. Behind the steel door before you lied the controls for every locked door and security camera throughout the entire estate. 

You quickly got to work hacking the lock. You pulled a flathead screwdriver from your belt and carefully pried off the cover on the small keypad, exposing an overwhelming amount of wires and lights. Reaching into the leather cross-body bag that was slung across your shoulder, you rummaged around until you found what you were looking for- a small, custom-made device that Griggs had given you for your birthday a couple years ago. It had been built specifically for situations like this. 

You carefully aligned the device to the inside of the keypad and nestled it into place. The device whirred to life, blinking red, red, red, red… green. It released a long, quiet beep and you knew it had done its job when the door slid open. You smiled to yourself.  _ Thank you, Griggs. _

_ ~Earlier~ _

“So what’s the plan?” Griggs had asked as the two of you ascended level by level towards the open air above the city. Griggs was not a reckless driver unless they absolutely had to be; the custom-built, hand-painted airspeeder that the two of you were currently seated in was Griggs’ baby. If they could avoid putting it in situations that would potentially fuck it up, they would. So the two of you were cruising at a steady pace that barely passed the speed limit. 

“The plan,” you replied, voice muffled by the mouthful of scone that you had just bitten off. “is to get in, grab the artifact plus any other goods that might help me turn some kind of profit from all this, then get out and into your speeder as quickly as possible.” 

Griggs snorted. “I know that much. I meant how are you getting in? Are there cameras or guards I should be worried about? Will I need to rendezvous at any specific time or-”

“Relax, Griggs,” you cut them off, sighing. “All you need to worry about is making sure that you’ll be at the back around the corner from the droid entrance twenty minutes after I go in. I’d be surprised if it takes me any longer than that. Mara Lora will be at a council meeting until late tonight, but I don’t want to push our luck. No guards. I’ll take care of the cameras.”

Griggs sighed. “Okay. I know that you know what you’re doing, just...be careful, okay? This isn’t some slumlord you’ve pissed off- this is the First Order. If you fuck this up, I’m worried you may not actually come back from this one…” their voice trailed off. This caught you off guard; you knew that Griggs cared, but they had never worried about you before. You weren’t sure how to feel about it.

You swallowed your last bite of the scone. “I’ve got it. This is a bad scrape, but I’ve gotten out of worse. You know me-” you tilted your head towards Griggs, flashing your canines with a smirk that shone with false confidence. “I always finish the job.” 

Griggs looked at you for a moment, unsmiling. Then the corners of their mouth turned up the slightest bit, almost imperceptible. They shook their head. “Yeah, you do.” they muttered. 

~ ~ ~

Once you had disabled the cameras, you unlocked the only door that mattered to you- Mara Lora’s “Treasure Room”. That was what Hux had called it, at least. You made your way through the seemingly endless hallways, the blueprints of the home etched into your mind. Every once in a while, you came across an unsuspecting droid and had to leave it stunned. You felt bad for it; the droids hadn’t done anything wrong, they were just following protocol. 

From the moment you turned the corner to the hallway that held your prize, you could feel it- the buzzing, electric energy coming from the room all the way down to the end of the hall. It was strong enough to overtake you if you let it, seeping in through your pores like the heat of a blazing inferno. It felt as though the energy might singe off the tips of your eyebrows, had your face been uncovered. 

Cautiously, you followed the hum of the Force to the end of the hallway, simultaneously allowing it to draw you close but holding it at arm’s length. You remembered your master’s warnings about the Dark Side...it draws you in with the promise of power, but ultimately leads to your downfall. And while you kept these words in mind, you couldn’t ignore how alive this power made you feel. It thrummed in your veins and overwhelmed your senses, absolutely intoxicating. It felt warm. Beckoning. 

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you tapped on the keypad and the steel door opened, bathing you in red light and bombarding you with a massive wave of Dark energy. You blinked several times to allow your eyes to adjust to the scarlet glow illuminating the room. 

Taking care to avoid any trip wires/lasers that may be present, you gingerly stepped through the doorway onto the plush blood-red carpet and took a moment to survey the treasures within that were ripe for your taking. 

You weren’t sure why, but you had been imagining some gaudily-decorated room full of red lightsabers and black robes. You should have known that this room would look more like some kind of personal museum. Transparent glass boxes sat on pedestals, each one housing a different ancient-looking keepsake. Some boxes held weapons, others contained small knick-knacks of unknown origin. It didn’t take you long to find what you were looking for- a black box with golden inlays around the edges and a ruby-red jewel embedded in the lid. 

You took off your shoulder bag and got to work, pulling out a worn leather roll that contained the tools you needed to take what you had come for and get out of here. You pulled out a stainless steel protractor, perfect for slicing through glass without shattering it, which could potentially set off any alarms you might not be aware of. You carefully used the protractor to trace a slow, smooth circle in the glass and pushed it inward, creating a hole just big enough for the box to fit through. You smiled; this was a much simpler mission than the Supreme Leader had let on. At this rate, you’d be in and out without any trouble at all. 

You put the protractor down and carefully reached your gray-gloved hand into the circle to retrieve the box. You lifted it up- it was surprisingly light- and felt the tingle of energy in your fingertips. You weren’t sure what the importance of this box and its contents was, but you knew one thing- it was alive with the Dark Side of the Force. Once it was freed from its glass cage, you slipped the box into your bag. Now, the fun part. 

_ Shopping.  _

You let your eyes graze over the riches laid before you- crimson rubies bezzeled into necklaces, gleaming knives with obsidian handles, ancient looking books that you feared might turn to dust if you so much as touched them. There were so many choices- but your bag was only so big. 

_ Not to mention The Supreme Fucker might not let me leave with any of it,  _ you thought. 

You grabbed the knives first. They seemed harmless enough, and you had a bit of a soft spot for weapons that were small enough to be easily concealed. Next, the necklace. Not your style, but you figured it would fetch a hefty price. Maybe even enough to make this whole ordeal worth your while. 

As you were lifting the necklace off the black velvet neck it had been sitting around, you felt the Dark Side get stronger, pulling you closer to the wall. It was strange; you knew the Force. You knew it like the back of your hand, the way one might know a mother or a father. But this- this was new. This sensation that was somehow cold, yet hot… alluring yet terrifying… it was a new side of the Force. You had only ever felt anything like this once in your life, but what you’d felt that day hadn’t been alluring in the least bit. It had been nothing but white-hot, bone-chilling rage.

To your surprise, you felt the need to let the Force guide you to where it wanted you to go. You lifted your hand towards the wall, closing your eyes and feeling the thrum of energy in your core. You felt the pads of your fingertips slide across the wall from one seemingly unimportant spot to another, where panels of steel connected to each other. As you did so, the panel of steel that you had just caressed began to match the color of the room with a bright crimson glow. Then  _ pffp.  _ You heard the sound of air escaping from a vacuum-sealed compartment opening. The panel wasn’t part of the wall at all- it was a drawer.

Curious to know what you had stumbled upon, you pulled the drawer out and peered into it. Your eyes widened when you realized what the contents were.

You knew there would be lightsabers in here.

Laying in the plush red velvet cushioning within the drawer sat a single curved lightsaber hilt, made out of polished chrome with matte black grips. It was large and sturdy, and you pondered how strong of a sith the saber’s owner must have been to have wielded such a weapon.

Your fingers barely had to brush the smooth metal of the hilt to feel the rush of emotions held within the history of this lethal weapon- it fed you jealousy. Betrayal. Anger. Fear. You felt the anguish and the pain of the last person who had weided it. The conflict contrasted by stone-cold resolve. 

Curiosity getting the better of you, you ran your finger over the small circular ignition button and pressed. A column of brilliant red plasma shot out from the hilt, reaching over three feet in length. Your eyes were wide with awe at the marvelous display of power before you. You had never gotten to hold a real lightsaber- Dorothy was as close as you had ever gotten. You contemplated giving the saber a small spin, but decided against it, knowing that now wasn’t the time to explore long-gone fantasies. You reluctantly extinguished the saber, the scarlet glow leaving your eyes along with the glint of excitement that was there one moment, and gone the next. 

You couldn’t put your finger on why you wanted to keep it- you knew that the Supreme Leader would most likely confiscate it from you anyway, and even if he didn’t, what were you going to do with a lightsaber? It wasn’t like you could use it in a fight without making a scene. Regardless, you stuffed the hilt into your bag, rolled up your tools, and left the treasure room. 

Getting out was the easy part- you had already timed the alarms and security cameras to stay off for the duration of your time here, so all you had to do was get back to the droid entrance and meet Griggs around the corner. Focusing on the memorized blueprints, you made your way through the mansion easily. You were passing the last hallway next to the droid entrance, when a small voice scared you so much you nearly leapt out of your skin.

“Who are you?”

You froze. There wasn’t supposed to be anybody here. The councilwoman was at her meeting, the entire staff consisted of droids, and her advisor accompanied her everywhere. Slowly you stood a little straighter and turned around to face the voice.

Standing in one of the doorways was a little boy who looked to be around seven years old, with jet black hair, pale skin and a suspicious look on his face. He eyed you curiously. “You’re not supposed to be here.” he said, trying to sound brave, but failing. You stayed where you were. 

The kid jutted out his chin in a show of defiance. “My mom will be home soon and you’ll get arrested!” You rolled your eyes behind your helmet.  _ This was not part of the plan, _ you thought,  _ Hux could’ve told me there would be a kid here.  _

You weren’t sure how to go about this. The kid had gotten a good enough look at you to give a specific enough description to his mother, the councilwoman with a room full of Dark Side paraphernalia, and she was not the person that you wanted putting a price on your head. Coruscant was the closest thing you had to a home- you didn’t want to have to run. 

The kid’s eyes narrowed on you. You watched them study you, then dart to the hallway behind you. That was the only warning you needed to stop him from making a run for it. You grabbed him by the shoulders, holding him in place as he thrashed, trying to wrench himself from your grasp. You sighed; you knew what you had to do, but it had been so long since you’d successfully tried it, and there was always the off chance that it wouldn’t work. 

You crouched down to his level, ignoring his flailing limbs and high-pitched squeals. You reached a hand back to press a button on your helmet, retracting the reflective visor and exposing your eyes alone. You focused on the ever-present Force energy running through your veins, and channeled it into your voice. 

“You will look at me.”

The boy’s eyes opened suddenly, focusing on your own. He was crying, obviously frightened by the situation. Who wouldn’t be? 

“I will look at you.” he sniffled, still resisting your grip on his shoulders. He sounded unsure, like he wasn’t quite sure why he should be listening to you. 

You took a deep breath. “You will stop moving.”

His eyebrows scrunched together. “I...I w-wil-waaaaahhhh!” The words died on his tongue, morphing into a loud wail. You sighed, exasperated. This was so stupid, why did you think you could do this? You were no Jedi, that ship had sailed. 

The dull hum of energy radiating from your shoulder bag started to tug at you, demanding your attention. It was growing, pulling at your senses, and when you focused on it you could hear a single message:  _ use me. _

The power of the Dark Side was undeniable; you knew that simply by feeling its presence. And while the warnings from your master stil rang in your head, you knew that this was the only way that this situation would end up in your favor. You made up your mind.

You let the fires of the Dark Side fuel you, opening up your senses to the ebb and flow of energy that overwhelmed each and every one of your senses. It was like a drug, enhancing everything and rolling over your skin. The sensation gave you goosebumps. When you spoke, you almost didn’t recognize the commanding tone in your voice.

“You will stop moving.”

The boy stilled instantly, pupils dilating. “I will stop moving.” he said, voice devoid of all emotion. You continued. 

“You will forget that you ever saw me.”

“I will forget that I ever saw you.”

“When I walk away, you will go back into your room and stay there until your mother gets home. Do you understand?”

“I understand.” 

“Good.”

“Good.”

You eyed the boy for a moment, checking to make sure that he really was going to do the things he said he would, then let go of his shoulders and stood up. You turned and began to walk down the hallway, and let out a sigh of relief when he took his cue and shut himself in his room. 

You took a moment to come down from the high that lingered after giving the Dark Side access to your mind. That was a rush… you weren’t sure if you were comfortable with how much you had liked how it felt; having that level of control over someone else. You felt drunk, numb with the absence of that intoxicating energy prickling the tips of your fingers. 

After finding the droid entrance, you slipped out of the mansion and met Griggs around the corner. “Well you didn’t die, that’s good.” Griggs said as they pulled out of the alleyway and onto a busier lane. 

“Told you I’d be fine,” you replied, carefully placing your leather bag underneath your seat. “Takes more than a fancy house to do me in.” 

Griggs chuckled. “Yeah, yeah, yeah.” The two of you settled into a comfortable silence as Griggs drove you back to the gateways at the city port. There, you would rendezvous with Kuruk, and hopefully put an end to this entire ordeal. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! I have worked for so long on this chapter. I hope you like it! I know it's not as exciting as the chapters with more dialogue, but this part is super important to the plot so I hope it's not unbearable! Also I'm publishing this way past my bedtime so I'm tired, if you come across any spelling/grammar errors, let me know so I can fix them!


	6. Use Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find your drug.

**Ch. 6- Use Me**

As expected, Kuruk was ready and waiting for you at the gate.

You and Griggs had pulled up to the platform just about fifteen minutes shy of the agreed upon rendezvous time. Given the thinly veiled threat of  _ hunting you down  _ earlier that morning, you’d decided that staying ahead of schedule would be wise.

You gathered your belongings and moved to open your airspeeder door when you felt Griggs’ hand on your forearm. You turned, your eyes meeting Griggs’ concerned ones. 

“You sure you’re gonna be okay?” they asked, eyebrows knitting together.

Your lips pulled together into a tight line. Would you be okay? You’d been through worse, that was for sure, and you’d survived… but had you come out  _ okay _ ? That was a tougher question to answer. 

You covered their hand with yours, giving it an awkward pat. Griggs had always been more emotional than you, but they didn’t usually show you that side of themself. You were reacting as best as you could. 

“Don’t worry about me, I can handle myself.” Your helmet was on, so you made an effort to coat your words with a smile that Griggs could hear. “I’ll be back in time to buy you a round at Rik’s tomorrow night.”

The side of their mouth quirked up, though the look on their face betrayed their lingering concern. “Just one round?” 

“That depends on how profitable this gig ends up being for me.” you laughed. Griggs didn’t laugh with you. You saw their eyes shift from you to something over your shoulder. You followed their gaze to the tower of muddied black leather leaning against the gatepost. Kuruk’s helmet was facing the two of you, his gaze surveying your every move. Undoubtedly, he was readying himself to go after you if you tried to run- which would be incredibly stupid on your part.

Griggs nodded in Kuruk’s direction. “That one of Kylo Ren’s knights in shining armor?” You refocused on collecting your things and opened your door. “Armor isn’t exactly shining,” you quipped, “but yes. That would be my chauffeur for the evening.” 

Griggs tilted their head, and you watched their eyes drink Kuruk in. “Well if whatever they’ve got hiding behind all those layers looks like my type, let me know.” They smirked, raising an appraising eyebrow. “I’m getting a scary but sexy vibe from that one.” 

You laughed and shook your head. “And you can tell he’s sexy  _ how _ ?” 

Their eyes stayed on Kuruk behind you. “I can just sense these things.” Finally ripping their gaze from the Knight and redirecting their attention to you, Griggs sighed and waved you away. “Alright, get out of here. Be careful.”

“I will.” You tried to sound reassuring, but both of you knew that it may not matter how careful you were. There were too many moving parts to this entire situation that were out of your control. Being careful wouldn’t stop an emotionally unstable overlord of the galaxy from killing you if he was in a bad mood. 

As you walked towards Kuruk, you heard Griggs’ speeder rev up and disappear into the distance. At least they would be safe and out of this mess. It killed you to involve Griggs at all, but you didn’t have too many friends to call upon for help in times like these. Keeping people at arm’s length was what you did best. You prayed that asking Griggs for help wasn’t going to bite you in the ass later.

Kuruk pushed himself away from the gatepost as you approached, acknowledging your now full cross-body bag. “That it?” he asked, nodding. You gave him a curt “mm-hm” in reply. He reached out his hand as if to take it from you, and you instinctively stepped back. He stayed where he was, arm outstretched and head inclined towards you in warning. 

“You’re smart enough to know I can’t let you keep those on your person.” he said.

You stood your ground, placing a hand on the bag and shifting it to rest behind your hip. “I’ve carried it this far, haven’t I? If I’d wanted to run I would have done so already.” You squared your shoulders. “I’ll give the Supreme Leader his artifact myself.”

You knew it wasn’t often that the First Order let anyone outside of their organization be in the know. You had incriminating information about the Supreme Leader now, and you understood the value of it. You could sell him out to Mara Lora and actually get  _ paid _ for it, unlike this job, which you very likely might not get a single credit out of. The only thing that the First Order needed you for at this moment was the artifact, and it was in  _ your  _ bag. You’d be damned if you handed it over to anyone before you were sure your safety was guaranteed. 

Kuruk studied you, deciding- you assumed- whether or not he should trust you with this one freedom. After what felt like an eternity, he withdrew his hand and balled it into a fist. “Don’t try anything.” With that, he abruptly turned and stalked in the direction of the _ Night Buzzard _ .

You waited until he was a good six feet away from you before softly letting go of the breath you had been holding. Kuruk’s energy was rolling off him in waves- frustration, anger, and… fear? Or was it just unease? You couldn’t quite put your finger on what was going through his head, but you could feel his anxiety bleeding into your own. 

You carefully controlled your breaths, visualizing his emotions being inhaled along with the air into your lungs, and exhaled in turn, leaving you with your own feelings and nobody else’s. You practiced this the way you always have- undetected, under the guise of nonchalant indifference. In reality, you were struggling to center yourself with such a powerful Force-user throwing off your balance. 

***

The Supreme Leader was not going to like this.

Kuruk kept his eyes on the stars ahead, white-knuckling the controls of the  _ Buzzard  _ in complete silence. He didn’t know why he had given into the bounty hunter’s request; he and the Supreme Leader both knew that this woman was stronger than she let on. Letting powerful artifacts imbued with the strength of the Sith remain in her possession was risky- stupid, even. He would need to stay on top of the situation throughout the journey back. 

With a deep breath, Kuruk relaxed his grip on the helm and reached behind himself with the Force. The moment his energy reached hers, it was like lightning striking water. Electricity buzzed into his senses, filling him to the brim with the power that radiated from every artifact in her bag. The bounty hunter’s Force signature was also there, mixing and mingling with the Dark. 

He heard her shift on her leather seat and sensed her eyes on him, so Kuruk withdrew his reach. If she could sense him, she didn’t show it. 

“How was the scone?” he asked, attempting to divert her attention.

“Good.” she replied. She sounded distant, distracted. 

“What flavor was it?” he asked, offhandedly.

“Mhm.”

He smirked. “What was that?”

“Hm?” She hummed. “What was what?” 

Kuruk chuckled. “I asked you what flavor the scone was, bounty hunter.”

She paused for a moment, undoubtedly trying to decode the question. “Uh...cinnamon apple I think?” Another pause. “It was good.”

Kuruk smiled, nodding. “Correct. I’m glad you liked it.” Now it was his turn to pause as he waited for her to take the bait.

“...And you’re checking to make sure I paid attention as I ate it?” Her voice sounded so confused.

“Just making sure you weren’t asleep back there.” Kuruk said, unphased. 

After a beat, she spoke up again. 

“They were a little dry, actually. Crumbs got everywhere.”

That made Kuruk bark out a real laugh. “And were the crumbs  _ inside  _ the helmet, or-”

“You really want to start on the helmet again?” She was back on the defensive in an instant.

He rolled his eyes, throwing his hands up in mock surrender before returning them to the helm. “Don’t shoot.” he said dryly. “And personally, I thought those scones weren’t half bad.”

She scoffed. “You obviously haven’t had quality scones before.” 

Kuruk raised an eyebrow. “Oh? And where could I find these ‘quality scones’?”

The bounty hunter took in a breath as if to speak, but then paused. She then said, “Coruscant has some good bakeries. Try some of those.” 

He waited for her to elaborate, but refocused on the space in front of him when she didn’t. She had already begun sinking back into her thoughts, and silence settled over the hull of the ship. It stayed there, an invisible wall erected between the pilot and the passenger, politely ignoring the elephant in the room that was the power quietly radiating from the bounty hunter and her bag.

***

Kuruk had managed to draw your attention for a moment, but the artifacts refused to end their tugging at your mind and it hadn’t taken much for you to succumb to their incessant nagging.

This was the first time in a long while that you had felt this drunk, and you hadn’t even had a drop to drink. 

The buzzing in your veins that seemed to coat your every nerve and thought and sense was not alcohol, but power.  _ Intoxicating  _ power. Power that made you vibrate with anticipation of dangers to come and the peace of knowing you would be able to overcome them without a second thought. You felt confident, brash, invincible...and it scared you. 

This feeling wasn’t you; it wasn’t who you are. 

_ But it’s who you could be.  _

The voice spoke no words, but the message was clear- the sweeping wave of Dark energy that soaked into your senses was telling you a story of the things it could bring you. You knew that you needed only to ask, and the Dark would lay them at your feet.

_ If only you let me in. _

_ Let me take you. _

_ Let me rule you. _

Its pull was hard to resist. You felt as if you had been trapped in some sort of limbo between the person you used to be, the person you had worked so hard to become, and the person who was capable of wielding this powerful energy. 

_ You could be a god. _

***

The Supreme Leader, Kuruk, and one of the other Knights watched as you carefully pulled each of the artifacts from your bag and laid them out on the conference table.

You had managed to return to your senses by the end of the trip back to the Finalizer, but the pull was still there. The energy seeping into your skin from the artifacts was hard to ignore, but luckily you had practice with ignoring overwhelming energies from external sources. 

You laid them out before the men one by one: The box, the knives, the necklace, and- finally- the lightsaber hilt. You had thought about trying to hide it from them, but you knew that Kylo Ren’s Force sensitivity would pick up on the weapon in an instant; its power was impossible to overlook.

“You have excellent taste, bounty hunter.” He glanced down at the artifacts once more before leaning towards you with his elbows on the table. “The councilwoman had countless treasures in that mansion, yet you returned with these. The box is mine,” Ren let his massive hand rest on the gilded lid of the small black box, “but you must have had hopes that the rest of these could be yours.” He lowered his head, and you could hear intense interest in his words. “Why these?”

You took a deep breath, steadying yourself.  _ Don’t let him shake you.  _

“The necklace looked expensive, I figured it would fetch a high price.” you said. “The knives were nicer than any I’ve ever owned, and I like knives.” A chuckle at your bluntness came from the direction of the Knights, you weren’t sure which one. 

Kylo ignored them “And this?” he asked, picking up the curved hilt of the lightsaber that had been infiltrating your thoughts all day, ever since you had heard it calling to you from within that wall. You couldn’t explain why but you had started to feel protective of it. You wanted it out of his hands. You had tasted that power, and you didn’t want him to have it. 

It took some effort to keep your voice even. “No reason in particular,” you said, “just had a hunch that it might be worth something.”

The Supreme Leader stared at you intently, as if he could see straight through your helmet and into your mind. You prayed that he couldn’t. 

He brought the hilt up so it was level with the visor of his helmet. “Do you know what this is?” he asked.

You could have played dumb, but you decided against it. “I have an idea. Heard some stories.”

“Stories…” he mused. His thumb stroked the button of the hilt, as if he were considering whether he should ignite the saber or not. “Stories of the Jedi?”

Your pulse quickened. “Among other things.” You replied, your voice faltering from its cool tone.

“Other things…” his voice trailed off as he refocused on you. His gaze was palpable, boring into yours. “Darker things.” 

“I’m not sure what you’re implying, Supreme Leader.” You tried to sound confused, but your words came out offended.

He watched you, unmoving, with the saber in hand. For a second, you thought he was deciding if he should cut you down with it. Your fears were laid to rest, however, when he turned away from you to address his Knights. 

“Take the artifacts to my chambers, Kuruk. Have the Buzzard ready to take our guest back to Coruscant in the morning.”

Kuruk moved without hesitation to gather all of the artifacts except the lightsaber- which was still in Kylo’s hand- into his leather bag. As he did so, the Supreme Leader moved to exit the room. 

Your mouth fell open, mind racing. Was that it? You had been planning on trying to negotiate something out of this job, but he wasn’t even going to give you the chance. He had interrogated you about why you chose these specific items, why you wanted them, and then taken them without a second thought, leaving you empty handed. Had he just been toying with you?

“You’re taking all of it?” You ask, trying to mask your indignation but failing. He stopped and turned to face you. 

“Yes.”

You huffed. This guy was unbelievable. “So I’m walking out of here with nothing?”

He chuckled. “I thought I had made myself perfectly clear that  _ your life  _ would be your compensation.”

“Don’t play dumb,” you retorted, unable to hold yourself back. “You wanted the box, I gave you the box. You told me to take whatever I want-”

“And I also told you that the First Order reserves the right to confiscate whatever might be of interest to us. Coincidentally, I am  _ very  _ interested in your findings. Like I said-” His voice lifted; was he  _ smiling _ ? “-you have excellent taste.”

There it was. That buzzing in your veins, the anticipation of danger and the need to take it on and crush it.  _ Destroy  _ whatever was in your path. You were furious, and the Dark Side fed off of it.  _ Use me,  _ it said again. That wordless voice was becoming familiar.

Before you could react to his taunt, he grunted out an order to the other Knight. “Escort her to her room for the night.” The Knight nodded, then made his way over to where you had already been standing for a while. You didn’t budge, eyes still trained on the Supreme Leader. You were fuming. 

When it was clear to the Knight that you weren’t making any moves to follow him, he grabbed you by the crook of your elbow. You immediately wrestled to escape his grip. “Let the fuck go, alright, I’m coming!” Your words were sharp and bitter. 

A low chuckle came from the doorway where the Supreme Leader stood. “And Vicrul-” 

The Knight’s grasp stayed firm even as he replied, “Master?” 

Kylo Ren’s voice dripped with smug amusement. “Make sure she doesn’t cause any trouble.” And with that, he made his exit. 

All the way to your room, Vicrul’s hand stayed on your arm. You felt angry, humiliated, and conned. Not because you were surprised that the Supreme Leader had denied you any real pay- no, you had been expecting that. It was because that power- that rich, addictive high that in only the span of a day had wormed its way into your mind just enough to make you see what  _ could  _ be- had been ripped away from you. 

You wanted that lightsaber.

You knew that the Force was in you always- Light, Dark, all of it- but that saber had been imbued with so much knowledge and power and history that simply having it close to you had enhanced all of your senses and filled you a need for more. The need to be close to it wasn’t one-sided either; you could feel it pulling you, like it wanted you to take hold of it and absorb its energy into your own and become a part of your very essence. 

By the time you had reached the door to your room, you had already made up your mind.

Kylo Ren had something that you wanted. 

He wanted you to be a thief? Fine.

You would be a thief. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the feedback y'all have given me on this story! It totally makes my day to read your comments, I just love that there's a thing that I've created that people enjoy...it's thrilling. Thank you from the bottom of my heart <3
> 
> Also, it took me a really REALLY long time to write this chapter. I kept sitting down, writing like two paragraphs, then getting distracted because I had no idea where the scene was going. In the end, I think it wasn't too bad. Let me know what y'all think :)


	7. The Setting of a Trap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You take the bait.

**Ch. 7- The Setting of a Trap**

Kylo could’ve bathed in the waves of fury rolling off that girl. 

He had known from the moment he laid eyes on her that the Dark had already begun to take its hold. He may not have been able to see inside her mind, (why that was, he still had no fucking clue) but he recognized the trace of the Dark Side intertwining with her own Force signature.

Her energy was something he had learned to recognize at this point. There was something nostalgic about it; he couldn’t understand exactly why, but her signature reminded him of something calm and comforting that he hadn’t felt since his childhood- balance. It was entirely unique, a tranquil tide pool in the endless sea of chaos that he had become accustomed to with his Knights. Her energy was anonymous and yet distinct, balanced just enough that Kylo hadn’t quite been able to put his finger on which side of the Force her powers would fall when given the choice. 

Now, however, the Dark had gripped her heart, taken that choice away, and fed off her energy like a man starved. Kylo had felt the rage within her and seen a mirror of himself.

Then he saw the lightsaber. 

There was no way on Naboo that a woman with Force sensitivity like hers had taken a lightsaber- especially this _particular_ lightsaber- simply because she had wanted to sell it. He didn’t believe it for a second.

He had recognized it instantly. How could he not? The last person known to have used it was his grandfather. 

The saber had belonged to Count Dooku.

He could feel the energy radiating from the saber at his hip now- the rage, confusion, betrayal and fear- the final feelings that its last owner had felt before his own weapon had been used to slice his head clean off his shoulders. 

Now this weapon- a key piece of Kylo’s family history- had attached itself to her. Again, this girl had wedged herself in between the pages of his story.

_What role is she meant to play?_

_“Don’t play dumb,”_ she had told him. 

_Oh, don’t worry, little ghost,_ Kylo thought as he stalked down the hall towards his private chambers, both the ancient lightsaber and his own attached to his hip. _I don’t intend to._

He reached out with the Force and quickly found the signature that he was looking for.

_Is she in her room?_

_Yes, Master._ Vicrul’s reply was instant. _Our guest isn’t going anywhere._

Kylo smirked. _Well, now, what fun is that?_ He thought to himself. This girl was smart; every move she made was carefully thought-out. Spontaneity and stupid decisions didn’t seem to be in her nature. She was, however, untrained in the ways of the Sith, so all of that would be thrown out the window if the Dark Side was clouding her judgement. Last he had seen her, she’d been royally ticked-off, and Kylo knew that her next move would be a rash one. 

Kylo would like to see what that looked like.

 _Leave your post,_ he thought, addressing Vicrul once again. There was a pause before Vicrul’s reply.

_You want me to leave her unguarded, Master?_

_Unguarded,_ Kylo clarified, _but not unsupervised. Watch her. Keep your distance but stay within range. Try and conceal your signature as best you can; she must believe that she’s undetected._

There was another pause. Eventually, Vicrul replied, _Yes, Master. But if you don’t mind me asking, what do you hope to gain from this?_

Kylo’s mouth formed a hard line. He didn’t like being questioned; Vicrul knew that he was the most powerful of the Knights besides Kylo, and he had grown complacent in his station. He believed himself irreplaceable. Kylo would have to find an opportunity to knock him down a peg.

However, he decided to indulge Vic with a response this time. He was having a good day.

 _Clarity._ Kylo replied, right before stepping over the threshold of his chamber, followed by the harsh hiss of his steel doors sliding shut behind him.

***

There was a war raging inside your brain between your intellect and your impulse. Your intellect knew that it would take a careful, calculated plan to escape this room, and coming up with that should take priority. Your impulse, however, was to use the Force and any other means necessary to free yourself from your cell, bust down Kylo Ren’s door and take back that lightsaber, then leave and never look back.

Usually, the middle ground was your comfort zone. The familiarity of balance was something that had always come easily to you. Now, you were actually finding it difficult to keep yourself from teetering over that balanced edge. You wanted, _needed,_ to get out of here. You were suffocating under the weight of the walls around you and the stifling feeling of being kept in a cage like some kind of pet bird, ready to fly but not given enough room to take flight.

You took a deep breath to steady yourself and focused on the Force. You closed your eyes, letting the sensation of its flow wash over your skin and calm your racing heart from the outside-in. 

_Breathe._

Once you felt at least somewhat steadied, you pressed your ear gently against the door. The first step you needed to take was to get past the Knight of Ren that was currently playing the role of prison guard. However, when you reached out with the Force, you found nothing there. Brow furrowing, you channelled more energy into your reach, scanning as far as you could outside your door for any type of Force signature. Again, you came up empty. 

_Why would he have left his post?_ You thought. 

You checked the room again for cameras; even though you had done this multiple times over the course of your stay in this glorified cell, you could never be too careful. If anyone caught footage of you using the Force, you would have much bigger problems on your hands.

Once you were certain the room was free of prying eyes, you took another deep breath, widening your stance and stretching your hands out in front of you with your palms facing forward. You gathered all of the strength that you could muster and pushed with the Force on the door. 

Nothing happened.

You huffed, then tried again. You squeezed your eyes shut and pushed with all you had in you. Still, nothing. 

You rolled your eyes, grunting out a frustrated “Urgh!” and kicked the door. This was the one side of the Force that you never had been able to master. Thoughts were easy, emotions were child’s play, but physically moving things? That skill had managed to evade you still after all this time. 

A cool sensation trickled down your spine.

_Use me._

The voice was more distant this time than the last, but still there. Beckoning, yearning, alluring. 

Tentatively, you allowed it to penetrate the nerves of your fingertips- but it wanted more. The prickling grew into a slow burn, strange and yet familiar, akin to the feeling of drinking hot tea on a cold day. You shivered as it raced through the veins of your arms all the way up to your shoulders and when you inhaled, there was electricity in the air. You closed your eyes and felt the energy gather in your shoulders until you felt the moment where the glass was full enough that if you took in one more drop, you would surely overflow. Feeling the exact moment when potential energy has no choice but to become kinetic, you opened your eyes and let the breath barrel out of your throat.

The knot of energy at your shoulders was expelled like a bullet, down your arms, through your palms and into the door. You watched as the thick steel door crumpled and caved under the pressure of your attack and ripped off of its hinges, launched into the hallway with a ringing sound that echoed through the hall. You winced at the noise, knowing that there was no way it hadn’t been heard by someone somewhere. They would be coming for you soon.

Springing to action, the remnants of Dark energy and adrenaline still buzzing in your blood, you sped out of the vacant doorway and into the hall in search of Kylo Ren’s quarters.

***

Vicrul had been expecting the noise, but that didn’t make it any less jarring. He had felt her pull, her call to the Force and its obliging response. Then, as if on cue, the squeal of the blaster door being ripped from the wall filled his ears, alerting him and any others in the vicinity of her escape. 

He stayed out of her line of vision, following her not by sight but Force signature. It was like a beacon, impossible to lose. If the ghost had any idea how to conceal her signature, she wasn’t using that knowledge now. He, however, knew the importance of such a skill, and took care to remain undetected. 

The further he followed her through the Finalizer, the more and more impressed he was by her tracking skills. She was living up to her profession, following the pull of the Dark Side like a wolf to its prey. Whenever they happened to cross any ‘troopers, she carefully avoided them with the ease of someone who has had plenty of experience with being in places that she shouldn’t. Before he knew it, she had found the way to the Supreme Leader’s chambers. 

Vicrul watched her stand in front of the blaster door looking it up, down, around, and had to hold back a snicker. _She’s made it this far,_ he thought, _but does she have any idea how to get_ in _?_

Evidently, she did. 

She pulled a small device from her shoulder bag and got to work on the keypad next to the door. Within a minute, she had nestled the device into the keypad and somehow it had coaxed the door into unlocking and sliding open. Vicrul’s eyebrows shot up beneath his helmet. _Well that didn’t take her nearly as long as I had anticipated._

He quickly reached out to Master Ren via the Force. 

_Master, the ghost just broke into your chambers. You sure you don’t want me to do anything?_

Master Ren’s response was instant.

_Stay where you are and await my orders._

Vicrul sighed. Master Ren never showed his cards before he played them, not to anyone. He was the most powerful next to the Supreme Leader; he deserved more responsibilities, more trust. More power amongst the Knights. If Master Ren was planning something, Vicrul wanted to know what it was. He also wanted to know exactly what this girl had to do with it. 

However, it had been made painfully clear to Vicrul that the Supreme Leader was not going to clue him in on anything. So, Vicrul leaned up against the wall outside of Kylo Ren’s chamber doors and did what he was told- he waited. 

***

The Dark energy hit you like a brick wall as soon as the doors opened; you felt a wave of déjà vu and thought back to Mara Lora’s treasure room and the tangible hum of energy in the air. You stepped through with only the slightest bit of hesitation. The Supreme Leader might be here, but then again he probably would have heard his doors open unprompted and come to investigate, so you guessed not. 

Your eyes spotted the lightsaber within moments; across the room sat a long, obsidian desk upon which were stacked multiple ancient-looking texts, a large datapad, a few pens- and the lightsaber.

You started to make your way to the desk, but stopped when you felt the Force pull you in a different direction. You turned to get a better look, and when you drew a little closer to inspect the strange hunk of misshapen metal, you gasped realizing what you were looking at.

The deformed helmet of Darth Vader.

You were well aware of Kylo Ren’s lineage. More aware than he knew. Seeing that helmet, ashen and permanently twisted into a quasi-visage of the legend that you knew the Supreme Leader’s grandfather to be, you were reminded of exactly who Kylo Ren was. 

This helmet was on a pedestal. It sat in a place of honor-of worship, even. If you had been anyone else, you probably would have seen this and thought that Kylo Ren was just like any man who idolized his grandfather and aimed to follow in his footsteps, but you knew better. Kylo Ren was not Darth Vader.

You knew because you had never forgotten what he had told you all those years ago at Luke Skywalker’s Jedi Temple, when he was just a 15-year-old kid, and everyone called him Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the shortness of this chapter guys, I know it's not as long as the others but based on what's about to happen I just felt like this was the best stopping point. Life has been CRAZY so updates are going to be far apart, but if you stick around for the ride I love you forever and I hope you enjoy what's to come <3 The next chapter is one that I've had in my brain since day one so I'm super excited to finally be writing it! Please let me know what you think so far, your comments mean the world.
> 
> EDIT- 12/29/20: I was rereading this chapter to refresh my memory during the writing process, and noticed a couple mistakes here and there regarding Count Dooku's lightsaber. I wasn't very clear on who the saber had belonged to & who was privy to that information, so I'm sorry if that confused you before! I've now made the necessary edits. Let me know if y'all have any questions regarding the lore! I do a lot of research to make sure the references I made to the canon in this fic are accurate, so if you notice any mistakes please let me know so I can fix them!


	8. Out of the Shadows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You make a choice.

**Ch. 8- Out of the Shadows**

_Every so often, a moment imprints itself into the mind and becomes a memory. There is usually some significance to the moment which explains its need to become permanent; to be remembered. However, there are some times that moments decide to become memories even though there seems to be no definitive reason for them to do so._

_To this day, you still weren't sure which of those situations applied to this particular memory._

_You remembered that it was spring. The sun had been shining and Master Luke had indulged the padawans and younglings with a break from training to play in the meadow outside._

_You remembered the vivid green of the grass, the moments that the breeze would pick up and you would feel the chill on your skin, but then it would fall away and be replaced with the warm kiss of sunlight again._

_You also remembered that from the moment Ben Solo punched the Twi’leki boy to the second that Master Luke pulled them off each other, you couldn’t seem to look away._

_You weren’t close with Ben by any means. You knew that he was Master Luke’s nephew and he was very strong with the Force, but that was about it. He was a padawan while you were only a youngling; you may both be Jedi and live at the same temple, but your similarities stopped there._

_You could recall that the Twi’lek seemed to have unkind words to say about Ben at every turn for as long as you had known him at the temple. You did not remember the words themselves, but you could remember his jealousy and his hatred. He was ushered away crying, nursing a broken nose and a black eye._

_Luke had taken Ben aside to speak privately, prompting the rest of the padawans to disperse now that the excitement was over with. You, however, stayed. Eventually, the two of them had returned and parted ways, Luke heading off to see to the injured Twi’lek and Ben sitting down on the smooth stone steps of the temple._

_Being a Force-sensitive child is a strange thing. Children, by nature, are more prone to trust. They have very little issue with blindly following the whims of others, whether they know to trust their word or not. So, Force-sensitive children trust the Force with such little effort that they do not even think to second-guess its pull._

_You felt the anguish and the fear that rolled off of Ben Solo as he cried on those steps. You could feel, without question, that he felt crushed under a nameless, immense pressure, and the Force was calling you to him. You answered by ascending the steps and taking a seat next to the crying boy._

_He did not see you sit down next to him, but he did feel you place your little hand just above his knee. His head jerked up, surprised at the sudden touch, but before he could shake your hand off his leg he felt something strange. His energy- all of the anger, the frustration, the fear, and the shame- were disappearing. It felt as if he were bleeding out, but emotions instead of blood. All that was left in their wake was a calm absence; the comfort of a blank canvas, of untouched snow. And he could breathe again, clearly, without a sob in his throat._

_Curiously, he looked down at you, the little silent girl sitting next to him on the stairs, and his eyes widened as you began to cry._

_It was not an ugly cry, nothing dramatic or overwhelming, simply the tears and sniffles of a child who had failed to meet the expectations that had been laid out for them._ His _tears._ His _failure. You had taken his burden and were bearing it for him._

_“Hey, hey,” he cooed, not quite sure how to comfort the little girl when he had no idea exactly how she had figured out to siphon his emotions in the first place. Still, he didn’t want to watch a little girl cry. “It’s okay, you...you didn’t have to do that.”_

_She looked up at him, tears in her big doe eyes. “What did that boy say to you to make you this sad?”_

_Ben’s expression hardened. He turned away, facing forward and staring at the valley below the temple. “Something he doesn’t know anything about.”_

_You waited for him to elaborate, but continued when he didn’t. You sniffed, nearing the end of your borrowed tears, and said, “He’s mean to you a lot.”_

_Ben let out a humorless chuckle. “That’s because he’s jealous. He knows I’m more powerful than him and there’s nothing he can do to change that.”_

_You leaned in closer. “Is that why he was mad at you? What did he say?”_

_Ben sighed impatiently. “You ask a lot of questions.” he stared at you and you stared back, eyes wide, waiting expectantly for answers._

_He refocused on the horizon in front of you. After a pause, he said, “He called me spoiled. Said that the only real power I’ll ever have is my family’s reputation.” You watched his hands clench into fists on top of his knees. His anger was growing again, so you reached towards him to take it away once more._

_He flinched away from your touch this time. “Why do you keep doing that?” he asked, the question more of an accusation than a query._

_You cocked your head to one side, questioningly. “You’re hurting.”_

_He looked at you in disbelief. “Yeah, but you don’t have to take the hurt from me. It’s_ my _hurt.”_

_You just kept staring. “But...you’re hurting. I wanted you to stop.”_

_He eyed you curiously, raising an eyebrow. “I’m fine.” said Ben, “Pain can be a good thing, it makes me stronger. The stronger I get, the more powerful I’ll become.” You could feel his anger hardening, morphing into determination. “And I’m going to be more powerful than anyone.”_

_Your eyes widened, shining as you stared up at him. “Like Master Luke?” you asked._

_Ben smiled, more to himself than to you. “More than Luke. More than any Jedi that came before me. I don’t care about them.” He took a silent breath through his nose and squared his shoulders. “The only legacy I want to be a part of is my own.”_

_You took that in, letting the idea of such a feat roll around in your mind. “That sounds lonely.”_

_Ben snorted, your comment bringing him back to earth. “I’d rather be lonely than live my life in someone else’s shadow.”_

_Your face brightened, a stark contrast to Ben’s dark demeanor. “I like shadows! Especially when it’s really hot outside.”_

_He tilted his head towards you, lifting an eyebrow and quirking his mouth into something between a smile and surprise. He stared at you like that for a few seconds before bursting into a fit of laughter._

_He dropped a hand on your head to ruffle your hair and said, “You’re a weird kid, you know that?”_

_You smiled. He didn’t feel angry or alone anymore. There was no more fear, no crushing weight of failure. His dark emotions were gone, and you felt something taking up residence in their stead: Hope._

_His laughter subsided, leaving a brilliant smile in its wake. You could feel his energy prickling into your senses like the rays of the sun._

_And he was warm._

_***_

You stood there, locked in a staring contest with Darth Vader’s molten helm. You had known from the get-go that the man underneath the infamous mask of the Supreme Leader was not Ben Solo. Ben’s energy had been like lightning, buzzing with potential and blinding light. Kylo Ren, however, was somewhere between frigid cold and searing heat. He was electricity bottled, threatening to explode at any moment. The difference between Ben and Kylo was the difference between jumping off a ledge and being pushed. 

You couldn’t help but wonder if he thought he had accomplished what he said he would. He had certainly become a legend, that much was for sure, but how much of that legend was his alone? Kylo Ren’s story began with the destruction of the Jedi, which included Master Luke. Did that make his story a part of the Skywalker legacy whether he wanted it to or not?

“I must admit, bounty hunter,” 

Your heartbeat skyrocketed at the sudden break in the silence. You spun around to identify the source of the voice, but didn’t have to look far. Kylo Ren’s massive cloaked figure stood opposite you across the room. He held his hands behind his back, lazily crossing to circle you from a distance. You had nowhere to run.

“I never could have predicted that a temporary hired hand would be of such interest to me.... but here we are.”

You widened your stance and hunched forward, ready to defend yourself should he attack. “I don’t see any reason why.” you replied, your words coated in venom.

“Don’t you?” He lowered his gaze to match yours, like a predator raring to pounce. “You’re a wolf in sheep’s clothing, aren’t you, little ghost? An ember hiding in the ashes.” Every heavy footstep he made echoed on the polished floors, reverberating into your feet and chipping away bit by bit into your fragile confidence. “I don’t think you’ve been completely honest with me.”

You straightened your back, projecting as much dignity as possible even though your heart rate was rising by the second. “All I am is a person who did a job and wants to get paid. I don’t think there’s anything remarkable about that.”

“Payment? That’s what all this is about?” His voice was patronizing, mocking. “I’ll transfer all the credits you could wish for if you just say the word.” He stopped three feet in front of you, towering over you at his full height and glowering down. “But we both know you won’t. This isn’t about credits anymore.”

You both stood there for a moment, staring each other down in a silent competition to see who would be the first to give. You lost.

“Then tell me what this is _really_ about,” your voice barely above a whisper, “Supreme Leader.”

He was silent for a few moments, watching you intently. Then he began to pace again. “What do you know of the Force?”

You turned to follow him, eyes never leaving his face- or helmet- and chose your words carefully. “Only what I learned from the stories I was told as a child.”

“And what happened in these stories?”

“Sometimes peace. Sometimes war.” You kept your voice even; you technically weren’t lying.

“Struggles of power, then...stories about heroes triumphing over evil?” he mused. 

“Whether or not the victors were always the heroes is a matter of opinion.” you said. 

The Supreme Leader tilted his head slightly as if to raise an eyebrow at you. “That might be the truest thing you’ve said since you first set foot on my ship.”

What happened next lasted the blink of an eye. He had your wrists in his hands, pressing you up against the large ebony desk and roughly slamming them onto the edge. You were pinned between the shiny black surface and his towering frame, rendered immoble with no choice but to look up into his hidden gaze.

“I’m not playing games anymore, little girl.” His voice was suddenly so much deeper, his tone more menacing and gravelly than you had ever heard before now. There was no trace of humor in it at all as you heard the words tumble out of his vocoder only inches from you. “Tell me who you are. I’m tired of guessing.”

“Why does it matter to you?” You hissed through clenched teeth. His grip on your wrists stung, but you’d be damned if you gave him the satisfaction of knowing he was hurting you. 

“Because it’s not every day that I meet someone who’s as strong with the Force as you.”

His words were like ice striking your very core. Of course. _Of course_ he could sense you. You shouldn’t have been so stupid as to believe that you could hide your Force signature from a kriffing _Sith Lord._

You gulped. “You sensed me the moment you walked into Thane’s apartment, didn’t you?” 

You could feel his dark, mechanical chuckle in your bones. “You’re...impossible to ignore.” He leaned in even closer, the mouth of his mask inches from your ear. “Did you know that your signature gets even stronger when you sleep?” 

Your eyes widened and you had to suppress a frightened gasp. “How do you know what happens when I sleep?” He was toying with you, trying to scare you into telling him the truth, and it was working. You were officially scared. 

“Remember whose ship you’re on.” He hissed, “Nothing happens on my ship without me knowing, so I _suggest-_ ” He tightened his grip on your wrists and you couldn’t help but cry out in pain. “-that you stop hiding in the fucking shadows and _tell me who you are!_ ” He was yelling in your face now, and you knew that there was no way you were escaping this one on top.

You took a shaky breath. “I like shadows.” 

You desperately prayed that he understood your hidden meaning and didn’t think you were mouthing off to him. The silence on his end gave you a glimmer of hope that he did. 

For several seconds he stared at you, wordlessly, and eventually he loosened his grip on you. 

“Take off your helmet.” He said. 

You considered his order, then replied, “I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.” The words might have been a joke, but there was no humor in your voice.

Surprisingly, you watched his hands float up to either side of his helmet, so you mirrored his actions. A deal was a deal. 

The room was filled with the hissing release of pressure as you both unmasked yourselves, and you braced yourself for whatever you were about to see.

***

_I like shadows,_ she had said.

He hadn’t thought about that day in years. He hadn’t thought about any of the other padawans in years. Truthfully, he couldn’t believe that after all this time, her Force signature was still familiar to him at all. He couldn’t even remember the youngling’s name, only the steady, quiet calm that she had made him feel all those years ago. 

Kylo had known that there were Jedi who had escaped the destruction of the temple that night. Three of his friends had escaped, in fact, only to be slaughtered shortly after by the Knights of Ren. If they had gotten out, it was likely that there were more. However, he’d never thought of them as much of a threat. He’d just figured that if they ever became a problem, he would cross that bridge when he got to it. 

Now here he was, doing exactly that. 

The first thing he noticed when she removed her helmet was her eyes. Before, at the temple, her eyes had been wide, innocent and shining with curiosity. Now, they were hardened; guarded, weathered with stress and lack of sleep. Her eyes betrayed nothing in regards to what went on behind them as she looked upon Kylo’s face. 

He took in her appearance and marked the similarities he could find in comparison to his memory of that day at the temple, when she had eased Ben Solo’s troubles using nothing but her innate talent with the Force. The color of her hair, the slope of her nose, the shape of her lips- those were all the same. Her expression, however, was slightly different than he remembered. The look on her face was somewhere between fear and determination, though that ever-present curiosity remained. 

He still couldn’t get over the raw power that she emulated. He could sense every emotion, could feel her anxiety mixing with her instinct to fight and her lingering yearning for more of what the Dark had to offer. It was obvious to Kylo that the last time she had trained had been at the temple, and from what he could remember, she hadn’t even become a padawan by the time it was destroyed. All of this time, her potential had just been sitting there within her, untapped and hidden from the world. It killed him to think that all this time, she had simply ignored it.

Kylo watched the woman intently. “The youngling is all grown-up.” Her face remained guarded, not betraying a single thought. “I thought I had destroyed all of the Jedi,” he mused, “but it appears I missed one.”

In the blink of an eye, Dooku’s lightsaber was in her hands. Kylo’s reaction time was impeccable, and within a moment he had drawn his saber as well. They ignited their weapons simultaneously, painting Kylo’s chambers red. They were mirror images of each other, both brandishing weapons of lethal light and poised to either defend or destroy. 

The woman, her face now the blood-red shade of her saber, narrowed her gaze at Kylo as she tightened her grip.

“I am no Jedi.”

***

You weren’t sure why, but you hadn’t been expecting Kylo Ren to look so… well, so much like Ben Solo.

He was much older, of course. He had gained some lines on his face, and his skin looked as if it had grown rougher over the years. The most striking difference was the scar that now spanned his face from jaw to eyebrow. The rest, however, was more or less the same. He still had the same hazel eyes, the same strong nose, and his face was still framed by a halo of dense black hair. 

His eyebrows drew together at your words, and you saw the corner of Kylo’s mouth turn up in a half-smile. “Yeah, I can see that.” He gave a slight nod to the glowing saber in your hands. “You look good in red.” 

You weren’t sure what to say to that. 

“It feels good, doesn’t it?” He asked you. His words were gentle, but his defensive stance didn’t change. “I know, I feel it too.” 

You watched as Kylo lowered his saber a few inches and took a step forward. You tensed, shifting to hold yours higher and show him that you wouldn’t hesitate to attack if he came any closer. He lifted his free hand in an effort to calm you. 

“You don’t have to be afraid of it, you know. It only controls you if you let it.” He continued slowly advancing towards you, one arm outstretched in your direction, the other holding his saber at the ready. “You have the potential to master it, even. That power is yours if you take it.”

You relaxed slightly, knitting your eyebrows together. “What are you trying to say?” 

His eyes brightened the slightest bit at your question. “You need a teacher. Your abilities are strong but you lack training.”

“Whose fault is that?” you quipped, your words dripping with sarcasm.

His expression darkened. “You never would have reached your full potential with Luke. He held me back, and he would’ve done the same to you. If you trained under me,” you could see the hope in his eyes; he was being genuine. “I would push you past your own expectations. You can become more powerful than you ever thought possible.” 

“You...you want me to be your what, your apprentice?” The words sounded so absurd, you almost laughed. A moment ago you had been prepared for him to kill you, and now… he wanted to _teach_ you? 

His gaze was intense, and you saw a flash of hesitation pass over him before he extinguished his saber and gave you a curt nod. “Yes.” he said, and you could tell by his voice that he was being completely serious. His outstretched hand had been raised with his palm facing you, defensively. Now, he turned it over, and you realized that he was asking you to take it. 

There are some moments in life that are so momentous, so obvious in their importance, that you cannot help but be hit by the weight of them. The knowledge that you are being faced with a choice that will affect the rest of your life in every way possible, can be enough to knock the breath right out of your lungs.

You would be a fool if you didn’t recognize this as one of those moments.

You turned his offer over and over again in your mind. If you took his hand, there would be countless opportunities for you to fall short of every expectation that he set for you to meet. There was the definite possibility that he might kill you if he got tired of trying to teach you. You would undoubtedly be putting yourself in life-threatening situations at every turn, but then again, that was something you did already.

On the other hand, you couldn’t deny the hum in your veins when you thought of what he’d said. ‘ _You can become more powerful than you ever thought possible.’_ You had never given much thought to what you were capable of before today. Until you had crossed paths with Kylo Ren, you had been going through the motions. You stayed under the radar, you hid, you hunted-- you survived. You had been fine with having _enough_ . Now? You weren’t so sure that _enough_ was going to do it for you after tasting what _could be._

_You could be a god._

You assessed the man in front of you, marveling at how vulnerable he was being with you. He was sacrificing his defenses, silently telling you that he was willing to meet you halfway, that if you take his hand you’ll have to make sacrifices too. 

Finally, with a deep breath, you extinguished Dooku’s saber. You brought your eyes to his, matching his intensity, and nodded. “Okay.” you whispered.

Then you reached out and took his hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAHHHHH IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING!  
> Welcome to Kylo's Krew, fasten your seatbelts.  
> I hope y'all liked this, I've been waiting to write this chapter for so long and it's FINALLY HERE. I hope I did it justice. Also, I'm really struggling with Kylo's characterization so if you have any suggestions or criticism I am all ears. Please give me feedback!!


	9. No More Hiding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get to know the Knights.

**Ch. 9- No More Hiding**

The First Order was nothing if not consistent. True to its brand, it had provided no shortage of awkward silences since the onset of your involvement with them. 

You sat in the Night Buzzard, your heart feeling as if it were soundlessly constricting in on itself with the anxiety that permeated the air. 

The Knights of Ren were not a talkative bunch, but they were anything but shy.

All around you- sitting on crates, leaning against walls, sharpening cleavers and- was that an axe? -were every member of Kylo’s leather-bound boy band. 

Kuruk was flying the ship, as to be expected, leaving you to sit uncomfortably in the common area and be subjected to the rest of the Knights’ stares. Each one felt like a tether that had been shot out of a grappling hook and into your body. Even under your multiple layers of gray garb, you felt stripped bare under their penetrating collective gaze. No one had said a word to you since you had boarded the ship, and the fact that they were all staring was making the silence that much more maddening. 

It didn’t help that Kylo had taken your helmet. Here you were, sitting in the center of a troupe of murderous masked men and you didn’t even have a barrier to hide behind. 

_ Stop hiding in the fucking shadows. _

Well, not much of a choice now, was there? Your new Master had made sure of that.

_ Master.  _ Did you really just call him Master? Wow. You hated that. Even in your own head, you had already accepted the consequences of the decision you’ve made.

You’d taken his hand. You’d said ‘okay’. You had agreed to be the apprentice of Kylo fucking Ren. And you still weren’t entirely sure what that meant.

***Earlier***

“The Knights will take you back to Coruscant to get your things.” Kylo had said. After you’d extinguished your saber, he had quickly taken it from you and clipped it to his hip. Kylo Ren didn’t seem to like doing things slowly. You had only just taken his hand before he started tapping away at his datapad. You surmised he was contacting Kuruk to deliver the same message to him. 

You weren’t sure what to say; you were still processing what had just happened.

“Then what?”

Your voice was smaller than it had been before. The power to say yes or no to his question had been exhilarating, but it was lost once you’d said that one little word that’d tipped the balance of power back in his favor- ‘Okay.’ The ball was in Kylo’s court now. 

He continued to type as he spoke. “Then we will begin your training.”

You quirked an eyebrow. “Which will consist of…?” 

He finished typing out his message and pocketed the datapad. “Whatever I decide it will consist of.” He placed his helmet back on his head, then paused as if remembering something. “Oh,” he said, outstretching his hand towards you. “I’ll also be needing the one in your boot.”

You tensed, thinking of Dorothy. You knew kyber crystals radiated a Force signature that Jedi could sense, so you weren’t surprised he had known it was there. However, you were still hesitant as you reached into your boot and withdrew the sleek, silver cylinder. You hadn’t parted with Dorothy since the day she’d first become yours. Even before you had constructed the small plasma dagger, you had worn that crystal around your neck as a child. You didn’t want to simply hand her over.

“Kylo…”

“From now on you will either refer to me as ‘Supreme Leader’ or ‘Master’.”

You snorted; you couldn’t help it. The idea of calling him “Master”... it felt ridiculous. 

“Are you serious?” you asked, half joking, half not.

He looked at you for a long time before you realized that he wasn’t even going to dignify your question with a response. You knew by his silence that he was being completely serious.

You took a deep breath and swallowed your pride, keeping your eyes trained on the ground in front of him. “You see...Master...the kyber crystal in this weapon? I’ve had it since I was a kid. It means more to me than anything I own, and I don’t own a lot of things. I swear that I won’t use it against you. Please…” 

You hated this; hated begging. You couldn’t remember the last time somebody had made you feel so weak, and you were beginning to hate him for it.

You steadied yourself with another breath and met his gaze. “...can I keep it with me?”

He watched you intently, seemingly mulling over your plea in his head. Finally, he spoke. “Ignite it for me.” 

You obliged. You ran your thumb over the smooth hilt until it found the circular button and pressed. Familiar white light shot out of the dagger’s hilt, illuminating both of your faces.

Kylo’s eyes were unreadable as he gestured for you to hand him the weapon. Holding your breath, you handed it to him. If this apprentice thing was going to work, you were going to have to trust him… to a certain degree, at least. You weren’t sure if you would ever trust him completely- but for some unknown reason, you wanted to take a small step in that direction. 

You watched as Kylo surveyed Dorothy from every angle. He swiveled his wrist, turning her this way and that, admiring the craftsmanship of the hilt. 

“You built this yourself?” he asked. You nodded. He then extinguished the blade, and you let out a sigh of relief when he handed it back to you. 

“Thank y-” you began, but he was already on his way out of the room and into the hallway. You quickly tucked Dorothy back into your boot and placed your helmet back on your head as you hustled to catch up with him. 

“After the Temple-” 

You did a double-take at his words. You hadn’t expected him to start talking about Luke’s Temple out of the blue. 

“Supreme Leader Snoke instructed me to seek out the Knights of Ren.” You listened with rapt attention as Kylo continued. “I wanted to join them, but they knew better than I did at the time how big of a commitment I was rushing into. Their leader, Ren, told me to tag along with them for a couple weeks, watch the way they operate, the kind of life they lead. If after that time was up I still wanted to join them, he would consider adding me to their ranks.” Kylo turned to look at you as you both continued your brisk pace down the halls. “I am willing to give you the same opportunity, if you want it.”

You raised an eyebrow. “You want me to join the Knights of Ren? I thought I was going to be your apprentice.” 

“Becoming a Knight isn’t… required.” Kylo explained. “I spend a lot of time with my Knights. They’re loyal to me, but I earned that loyalty. You, however,” he eyed you sideways, “are going to seem like fresh meat to them, apprentice or not. If you go straight to being my apprentice, you’ll outrank them. I can tell them to listen to you, to obey you, and they will,” Kylo paused, trying to find the right way to phase his words. “But they won’t respect you. Their allegiance needs to be earned. If they stopped respecting the chain of command it would be very… inconvenient for me.” 

You thought about his words. “So I follow you all around for a couple weeks, and if I still don’t want to join up, I’m allowed to just be your apprentice? Whether they like it or not?” 

Kylo didn’t say anything, but nodded. 

You didn’t see the harm in it. Kuruk was nice enough, so the rest of the Knights couldn’t be that bad, could they? “Alright.” you said. “I’m game to make some new friends.”

“Good,” Kylo said as the two of you turned a corner and entered the spacecraft hangar. “No time like the present.”

You realized very quickly that you were way out of your league here. 

Gathered in the hangar, standing by the Night Buzzard, were six of the scariest looking men you’d ever seen. You recognized Kuruk, as well as the one that Kylo had called Vicrul, but recognition did nothing to detract from the intimidating air they radiated now, surrounded by four other men of equal stature and Dark energy. Not to mention the fact that every last one of them was adorned with masks of iron and steel along with leather in every shade of black and charcoal gray in existence. They were a foreboding sight.

You watched as each of their heads turned towards the two of you, Vicrul in particular zeroing in on Kylo. You looked up to see Kylo looking directly at Vicrul with equal focus, the two of them seemingly communicating using only their minds. Suddenly, Vicrul straightened his posture, his gaze diverting to you. He held it there for a moment, then looked back at Kylo and gave a short nod before turning to the rest of the Knights. You couldn’t hear what he was saying from where you stood, but you had a strong feeling that whatever he was telling them had to do with you. You looked up to Kylo, hoping he could connect some dots for you, but he kept his gaze on his Knights, waiting. 

Finally, Vicrul finished speaking with the rest of the Knights, prompting them to disperse and take their places on the Night Buzzard. You caught Kuruk’s gaze for a second, his helmet pausing when his visor faced yours. After a moment, he gave you a nearly imperceptible nod before disappearing behind the hatch, undoubtedly making his way to the cockpit. You felt a little better knowing there was at least one Knight whom you knew didn’t  _ completely _ hate you. 

“Give me your helmet.” 

You jerked around to face Kylo after hearing his request. “My helmet?” you asked, confused. “Why?”

“Because they’ll be more likely to trust you if they can look you in the eyes.” 

“But I can’t see theirs, so do they expect me to trust them back?” You replied.

“They have nothing to prove to you, why should they care if you trust them or not?” He said through what you were sure was the smuggest of smiles. He reached out his hand, beckoning you to hand over the helmet. 

You sighed. “Will I get it back?” you asked. 

Kylo chuckled. “Yes, little ghost.” he said, the condescension in his voice thick as honey. “You’ll get it back.”

Your cheeks grew warm at hearing his nickname for you. How long was he going to keep calling you that? 

Defeated, you removed your helmet and handed it to him. You kept your eyes trained on the ground, not wanting to see who witnessed your unmasking. It wasn’t as if you’d never taken the helmet off before; in fact, there were plenty of people on Coruscant that you knew who had seen you without it on multiple occasions. But here, on the Finalizer, your anonymity had been one of the few things that gave you some semblance of control. Now? There was a face to your name. You couldn’t use your helmet as a security blanket anymore. No more hiding.

“I have a few things to attend to,” Kylo said, “but I’ll rendezvous with you and the Knights once you’ve collected your things.” a pause. “Look at me.”

You slowly lifted your gaze from the ground to his visor. You wished he hadn’t put his helmet back on; as much as you hated to admit it, you were beyond nervous and right now, you needed some reassurance that this was the right choice. Everything was moving so fast, and you just… you just craved the familiarity of Ben’s- or Kylo’s- eyes.

What if the Knights hated you? What if you were in over your head? What if you fell short of Kylo’s expectations? Maybe he was dead wrong about you, and the ‘potential’ he saw in you was really just a load of bullshit.

Kylo studied you, his head inclined in your direction. “Is the infamous Gray Ghost… nervous?” His words were accompanied by a smirk that you didn’t need eyes to see. You scowled at him, lifting your chin indignantly. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” 

Kylo chuckled. “No,” he said before gesturing towards the ship. “But they would.” Before you could retort he turned around, your helmet tucked under his arm, and started towards the exit. 

You huffed and hollered back at him, “Thanks for the pep talk!” 

“Keep your guard up, they can smell fear.” his muffled voice answered from across the hangar. 

You rolled your eyes, even though he couldn’t see it. You waited for him to turn the corner and disappear from your field of vision before turning around to face the Night Buzzard. Taking a shaky breath, you began your ascent up the ramp and prepared yourself to face the Knights. 

***

So there you were, sitting in the Night Buzzard, all eyes on you. You were doing your best to keep your gaze on anything but the figures surrounding you, but after about half an hour had passed, that was becoming difficult. You started slow- lifting your gaze from your own boots to those of the nearest Knight. The black leather boots were splattered with mud, long dried and beginning to crack. Your eyes wandered up over the V-shaped ridges of his shin guards, the strange asymmetrical coat that brushed his calves, the leather gauntlets strapped to the arms crossed over his chest. Then, finally, you eyed the grid-patterned helmet that was staring straight at you. 

The Knight gave you a little nod, along with a flirtatious “Hey gorgeous.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. 

“C’mon, don’t be like that.” the Knight, Vicrul, seemed to take your interaction as an invitation to slide into the seat next to you. You uncomfortably scooted as far away from him as you could, leaving you with one butt cheek still on the seat and one hanging uncomfortably off the side. You avoided his eye contact like the plague.

Vicrul ignored your apparent disgust, stretching his arm over the seat behind you and leaning in closer. “According to Master Ren, you’re interested in joining our ranks. We should get to know each other.” 

You turned your head a fraction of an inch in his direction, narrowing your eyes on him. “Get to know each other, huh?” you asked warily.

“Yeah, you know.” Vicrul replied, excited that you were taking the bait. “You tell me about yourself, I’ll tell you about myself.” He paused, waiting for you to answer, but was met with silence on your part. “I’ll go first.” he said, splaying his free hand over his chest. “My name’s Vicrul, I like whiskey, dancing, and long walks on the beach.” He pointed to you. “Now you go.”

You stared at him, deadpan. Finally, you let out a breath and replied. “Okay. I’m Gray, I like guns, and I also like  _ personal space. _ ” You pointedly looked at the arm draped dangerously close to your shoulders. Ignoring your not-so-subtle hint, Vicrul scooted even closer. “What a coincidence!” he said, his voice sounding overly positive as hell. “I like your personal space too.”

“Oh my god, Vic, chill.” The unfamiliar voice came from one of the other Knights, the one with the axe, and a helmet that resembled a skull.

Vicrul raised his hands in mock bewilderment. “What? I’m just trying to show her that we’re not so scary, she’s been afraid to even look at us since she set foot on the ship!”

“Maybe she’s just quiet.” replied the other Knight. 

“She was pretty talkative earlier.” Kuruk chimed in from the cockpit.  _ Great,  _ you thought,  _ just when I thought I had an ally. _

“You see?” Vicrul said, gesturing towards you. “You guys are scaring her.” He leaned over you once more, “Don’t worry, princess, we’re not gonna hurt you.” 

You wished you had a fucking blaster. 

You whipped your head around to face him, nostrils flaring and venom in your gaze. “Call me princess again.” you said, your voice cold as ice. “See what happens.”

You heard a deep chuckle from the Knight behind you. “I like her.” This one’s voice sounded older, rougher than the others. 

The skull-faced Knight spoke up again, “Vic, is it even possible for you to meet new people without trying to fuck them first?” 

One of the other Knights, the one carrying an obnoxiously large cleaver, scoffed before Vicrul could reply. “Are you surprised?” he said, pushing himself away from the wall to cross in front of you. 

“No.” chorused almost all of the Knights, including Kuruk who kept his eyes trained on the space ahead. You couldn’t help but smirk.

Vicrul looked around at the other Knights incredulously. He put a hand over his heart, feigning betrayal. “Ouch.” He looked back at you, leaning in conspiratorially. “Can you believe these assholes?” 

The Knight crossing in front of the two of you shook his head. “Pathetic.” he muttered, before exiting the common area and disappearing down a ladder into what you assumed to be the ship’s barracks. 

Vicrul kept his eyes on the ladder for a few moments after the Knight had disappeared. “What’s Trudy’s deal?” he mused. 

“Maybe he was jealous of the attention?” suggested Kuruk from the pilot’s seat. 

“Can’t imagine why.” you muttered. Your comment earned you an amused snort from the Knight sitting nearest to the cockpit. He had remained silent up until now, focused on the firearm that he had been meticulously dismantling and putting back together for the duration of the trip. His helmet was less flashy than the others’, and consisted simply of a sturdy-looking metal with two slits for sight.  _ How can he even see through those?  _ You wondered. 

“Wooowww.” drawled Vicrul, finally leaving your seat and grabbing his scythe from where it was leaning against the wall. “Fine, maybe Trudgen will appreciate my  _ attention. _ ” He headed towards the ladder, but stopped to give you a nod that you were 99% sure was accompanied by a wink underneath his helmet. “Catch you later, gorgeous.” 

You saw Kuruk shake his head in disbelief. “You’re playing with fire, Vicrul.” 

“What can I say, I like to live dangerously.” Vicrul grunted as he descended down the ladder and disappeared from your sight. You gave a small sigh of relief and suppressed a smile. Kuruk kind of just stood up for you… and you didn’t expect to feel as grateful as you did. 

Now that you had interacted with the Knights, the awkwardness had begun to dissolve. The silence wasn’t exactly a comfortable one, but it wasn’t nearly as unbearable as before. 

The Knights didn’t seem terrible, aside from Trudgen, who had an enormous stick up his ass. Vicrul was… obnoxious, but his antics weren’t anything you hadn’t come across before. You knew how to handle playboys like him. And even though it was too early to tell, you might actually get along with the rest of them based on your interactions so far. 

You scooted back into the center of your seat, letting yourself relax into it a little bit more than before.

Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of love that this fic has been getting is KNOCKING ME TO THE FUCKING FLOOR. Thank y'all so much, I get a little boost of serotonin every time someone interacts with this story. Y'all are incredible. Enjoy some Knights of Ren fluff!


	10. And They Were Roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You say the only goodbye that matters.

**Ch. 10- And They Were Roommates**

Once the ship was docked on Coruscant, you immediately made for the exit ramp. You knew you wouldn’t have much time, so you wanted to find a communications booth as fast as possible to get a hold of Griggs. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoooaa.” Vicrul caught you with an outstretched arm to your collarbone before you could even step onto the ramp. You huffed, frustrated.  _ So close.  _

“I thought I wasn’t a prisoner anymore.” You said, narrowing your eyes at Vicrul. “Can’t I go back to my place without a babysitter?” 

“First of all, you were never a prisoner.” Vicrul said, retracting his arm and taking a step closer to you. His closeness made his height even more apparent; he was towering over you now. “Second, no.” He crossed his arms over his chest, voice dropping to a sultrier tone as he added- “But I’m more than happy to be that babysitter.”

You cursed your heart for beating a tiny bit faster, blaming it on the fact that he had popped your personal bubble...again. 

“Yeah,” you sighed, placing a fingertip on his chest and gently pushing him away. “I’m good.” 

“Well, like it or not, you can’t go alone.” Vicrul said, unphased by your rejection. “Master’s orders. If it’s not me, it’ll have to be one of the others, and I think we both know-” He raised his hands in a gesture that seemed to say  _ look around.  _ “-I’m a lot more fun than these guys.”

Instantly, you looked over to Kuruk, your wide eyes pleading. He stared back for a moment, then hung his head and sighed in defeat. “I’ll take her, Vic.” He made his way to you and nudged Vicrul out of the way. You grinned, following Kuruk down the ramp. 

Vicrul scowled at Kuruk. “Killjoy.” Vic muttered, grabbing his scythe and swinging it to sit across his shoulders, his arms dangling over the staff like a scarecrow. 

“And pick up a couple power converters while we’re gone.” Kuruk added over his shoulder. “Yeah, yeah.” you heard Vicrul reply dejectedly from behind you.

“Thanks, I owe you one.” You sighed in relief. 

“Just don’t cause any trouble while we’re here and we’ll call it even.” Kuruk replied. “Lead the way.”

The two of you walked for a bit, comfortably silent, until you came across a communications booth. “I have to make a call,” you said, “Won’t be long.” 

“What for?” Kuruk asked, suspiciously. 

“Well, I don’t have many friends…” you paused, not quite sure why that was the way you had decided to begin your sentence. Geez, you were awkward. “Just one friend, really. And I’m not sure when I’ll get to see them again, and-”

“You want to say your goodbyes.” He finished your sentence. You nodded, relieved that he seemed to understand. He nodded to the booth. “Go ahead, but make it quick. We don’t have long.”

You weren’t a sappy person. You and Griggs had known each other for years, but the two of you were constantly going off world for different jobs and goodbyes had never seemed necessary. ‘I’ll see you when I see you’ was a more common parting phrase than any heartfelt goodbyes. But now… you honestly couldn’t say for certain that you would ever see Griggs again. You wanted to hear their voice at least one last time.

You dialed their number and listened to it ring. And ring. And ring. And then an automated voice prompted you to leave a message, and your heart dropped. You took a shaky breath, and began after the beep. 

“Hey Griggs, it’s Gray. I hate that I’m telling you this over a message, but.... um… I’m leaving. For good. It’s complicated… The last job I pulled ended up presenting me with an…. opportunity. I can’t pass it up. I wish I could explain it to you, but I don’t have a lot of time. I guess I just….” You sighed. You hated this. “I just wanted to say goodbye. You’re the closest thing I have to a best friend… well, you’re my only friend, so I hope you’re my best friend. Anyway… stay out of trouble for me. I guess I... ugh. I hate this. Bye, I guess.” 

You hung up the call before you got a chance to stumble over any more words. Closing your eyes, you hung your head and let out a breath, emotionally exhausted. After a moment, you turned back to Kuruk. “Alright, let’s go.” 

He stared at you silently, but followed your lead as you headed towards the public transport. The silence lasted about as long as it took for the two of you to board the transport, find two spots decently out of the way of the other passengers, and grab the handholds dangling from the ceiling as the transport jerked into motion.

“So… was that the same person who dropped you off at the gate before?” Kuruk asked, breaking the tension. 

You sighed. “Yeah,” you stared at the floor of the transport. “Griggs.”

“You two close?”

“I guess we are… closer than I am with anyone else.” You thought about it. “Come to think of it, I’ve never trusted anyone the way I trust Griggs. People like them are hard to come by.”

Kuruk nodded. “They are.” he paused, “I hope you get to see them again.” 

The corners of your mouth lifted a little. “Me too.”

But you knew it wasn’t likely. 

A few stops later, and the two of you exited the transport. Kuruk followed your lead, his head turning to survey the new area around you. You were in the lower levels of the city now, and Kuruk could tell that this wasn’t the nicest part of town. You, however, were used to it, and proceeded to stroll towards your apartment complex with your hands tucked into your pockets.

“So tell me more about the other Knights.” 

Kuruk snorted, “I can tell you that they think you’re funny.” 

You smirked. “That’s a start.” You said, “But really, tell me more about them. I want to know what I’m dealing with here.” 

Kuruk thought for a moment. “Well,” he began, “Obviously Vicrul is a flirt.”

“I gathered that.”

“Mhm.” Kuruk hummed, knowingly, “But you should know that out of all of us, he’s the strongest with the Force. Other than Master Ren, of course.”

You looked at him over your shoulder, quirking an eyebrow. “Really? I feel like I would’ve sensed that.” 

“He hides his signature 90% of the time. As obnoxious as he is, he’s smart. Doesn’t want people to know how strong he is until it’s necessary. Believe me, in battle he’s like a fucking fireball. You can’t help but notice him.”

“Hmm.” You were impressed that he was able to hide his signature from you; usually you were pretty attuned to other people. 

“And then there’s Ap’lek.” 

“Which one is that again?”

“Helmet looks like a skull, he’s got those weird leather-” Kuruk gestured with both hands in a downward motion over his shoulders. “-thingies.”

You laughed. “Yes, I remember the ‘thingies’. What’s he like?”

“He’s usually...civil.” Kuruk took his time deciding which words to use. “Strategic. He keeps a level head no matter what’s going on around him, it’s kind of scary how calm he is sometimes.”

“What about that Trudgen guy?” you asked him. “He seemed like a piece of work.”

Kuruk shook his head dismissively. “Trudgen has his moods, but he’s all talk. He can be a pain, but I would just ignore him if I were you.”

You shrugged. “If you say so.” You pointed to a large building up ahead. “This is me, I’m four floors up.” Kuruk nodded and followed you into the apartment building.

“So what about the other two?” you asked, continuing your conversation.

“That would be Cardo and Ushar.” Kuruk answered. “Cardo is pretty quiet. Keeps to himself most of the time. Amazing with weapons, though. The Knights have an armorer that we go to from time to time whenever we need new gear, but Cardo is the one who keeps up with most of our artillery.” You remembered how the massive Knight had dismantled and reassembled a very complicated-looking firearm several times over the course of your trip here. He seemed to fit Kuruk’s description well. 

“And Ushar?” you supplied. 

“He’s been doing this longer than any of us.” Kuruk said. You could tell from the change in his tone how much he respected Ushar; he sounded almost reverent. “Most of us joined up a couple of years before Kylo Ren took over, but Ushar had been serving under the previous Master Ren for over a decade.” Kuruk continued as the two of you ascended the last flight of stairs before arriving at your floor. “Master really respects Ushar’s experience. I’d say he trusts his opinion over any of the other Knights’. If anyone knows the Ren best, it’s Ushar.”

You quirked an eyebrow. “What do you mean, ‘the Ren’?”

“How do I explain it…” Kuruk mused, “It’s sort of like a creed. We follow the will of the Shadow. The Dark Side of the Force. Passion, strength, power, victory… it has a mind of its own, and we follow where it takes us.” 

Hearing him say this made it all too evident what you had gotten yourself into. Going to such an extreme felt...wrong. Alien. Your training in the Force, short as it had been, had always stressed the importance of balance. However, you also remembered Master Luke warning against the dangers of the Dark Side. But if balance was the most important, why didn’t he also talk about the dangers of the Light Side? Wasn’t balance something that existed when both sides held equal value? So if the Dark was so corruptive, wouldn’t the Light be too?

You were beginning to question everything you knew about the Force. 

Not knowing how to answer Kuruk, you opted to remain silent as you swiped your key fob over the keypad of your apartment door. It slid open for you, and you entered followed by Kuruk. You switched on the lights and made your way to the kitchen. “Can I get you something to drink? A snack, maybe?” You grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and began filling it with water, not waiting for him to answer your question. “Since I’m about to leave, I don’t have much use for any food here, so get it while you can.” 

You turned around to hand Kuruk the glass, and were surprised to see his helmet on your coffee table. You looked up and met his eyes and had to stop yourself from staring.

You weren’t sure what you had expected him to look like, but it wasn’t this. His pale blonde hair had been pulled back, a single thin braid running from the center of his hairline over his head and into a low ponytail at the nape of his neck. His face was very distinct, with high cheekbones, pink pouting lips, and the bluest eyes you had ever seen. 

You watched as he smirked, one eyebrow lifting. “Hm… do you have any scones?” 

You barked out a laugh, thankful he didn’t notice that you had basically just checked him out. Or, if he did, he wasn’t going to point it out. You tapped your chin, thinking, and then your eyes widened in realization. “You know what, I think I do!”

You opened the fridge and sure enough, there was a plate of homemade raspberry scones wrapped in clear plastic. You took out the plate and grabbed a scone with a napkin, handing it to Kuruk. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Well I’ll be damned.” he said, shaking his head in disbelief. “Are these those ‘quality scones’ you were telling me about?” 

You smiled mischievously. “See for yourself.” And with that, you left him to eat his scone while you grabbed your things from your room. 

Your apartment was sparsely decorated, but comfortable. You blew most of your money on transports and weapons modifications, so your living area wasn’t the nicest, but even the shittiest apartments in Coruscant cost a pretty penny. You were going to miss having your own space, but you definitely weren’t going to miss paying rent. 

Grabbing a large duffle bag from your closet, you began stuffing it with the essentials: clothes, money, toiletries, a few books. 

“Holy shit,” you heard Kuruk exclaim from his seat on your living room couch. “Where did you get these? They’re delicious.” 

You blushed, glad that he couldn’t see you. “Oh, I made them.”

You were met with silence from Kuruk. “You alive in there?” you called after a few moments.

“You can bake?” Kuruk asked. 

“Yep.” 

“ _ And  _ you like guns?”

“Yeaah…”

You peeked out from your doorway to look at him. “Is that a problem?”

He shook his head. “Nope. Just never met someone who did both of those things.” 

You chuckled and returned to your packing. “Well to be fair, I don’t usually do both at the same time.” 

Kuruk barked out a laugh before downing the rest of his water and getting up to grab another scone from the kitchen. “Now  _ that  _ would be a sight to see.” 

Suddenly, your front door whirred open.

You quickly grabbed a blaster pistol from a bookshelf on the wall beside you at the same moment that Kuruk unsheathed his own blaster from a holster hidden under his overcoat. However, you realized within seconds that the intruder wasn’t a threat.

“Hey, hey, whoa, I’m a friendly, calm down!” 

You relaxed at the sound of Griggs’ familiar voice. “It’s alright Kuruk, that’s Griggs.”

It was hard not to laugh at Kuruk, one hand holding a blaster at the ready, the other holding a raspberry scone aloft with a hefty bite still in his mouth. You were pretty sure you saw a couple of crumbs dribble out of his mouth when he holstered the weapon, which made it  _ really  _ hard not to laugh. 

You tucked the blaster into the back of your waistband. “I keep forgetting that I gave you my spare key, this is the third time I’ve pulled a gun on y-”

Your sentence was cut short by Griggs pulling you into a tight hug. 

“You motherfucker!”

Grigg sounded like they were on the brink of tears. Pulling back, they narrowed their glassy eyes on yours. “You tried to leave with nothing for me to go off of but that vague-ass message? A kriffing  _ message _ ?”

You felt a pang of guilt.You scratched the back of your neck and looked away, uncomfortable. 

“I didn’t want to… but I didn’t have enough time to go find you, I’m literally packing-”

“Well I’m here now,” Griggs interrupted. “So start explaining.”

You looked at Kuruk, not sure what you could say and what you couldn’t. He shrugged. “You don’t have to be secretive about it if you don’t want to be.” He said, refilling his glass of water at the sink. “But whatever you tell them, just make it snappy. We can’t take too long.”

Griggs seemed to notice Kuruk for the first time since they’d barged into your apartment. They smirked, leaning to whisper into your ear. “I told you he was sexy.” You snorted in response.

If Kuruk had heard Griggs’ comment, he ignored it, grabbing the whole plate of scones and taking it to the living room. He sat back down on your couch and turned on the holo. 

Well he was certainly making himself at home.

“C’mon,” you said to Griggs, nodding towards your room. “I’ll catch you up while I pack.”

You then proceeded to tell Griggs the abbreviated version of the past couple days as you stuffed various belongings into your duffel bag. Griggs listened intently, asking questions here and there.

You left out the part about you being one of the younglings at Luke’s Temple. Griggs had known you had some sort of sixth-sense, but that was as far as you had ever gone into explaining your special abilities to them. You trusted them, but your past was  _ your  _ past. Griggs didn’t need to know, and they had always seemed to understand that you didn’t want to talk about it. All that Griggs needed to know was that Kylo Ren had seen potential in you, and that you had accepted an offer to train under him and his Knights of Ren.

When you had finally finished, you were pretty much all packed. Griggs stared at you, eyes wide with awe. After a moment of silence, they finally spoke. “Wow… so you’re practically royalty now, huh?”

You snorted. “That is  _ not _ how I would put it.” You zipped up your duffel and made one last check around your room to make sure you weren’t forgetting anything of value. “I’m an apprentice.”

“Yeah, but you’re about to be a  _ Knight. _ ” Griggs waggled their eyebrows. “That sounds like something out of a fairy tale. Planning on rescuing any damsels? Wooing any princesses?”

You laughed out loud at that. “Hah! I don’t think these knights are the rescuing type.”

Griggs’ eyes shifted in the direction of the living room. “Well,” they said, “whatever they do, Kuruk can do it to me anytime.” You were laughing even harder now, and Griggls joined you in your giggle-fit. 

When your laughing finally died down, the two of you looked at each other, eyes tinged with the sorrow of goodbyes that you both knew needed to be said. “Thanks for coming.” your voice was genuine, without a trace of sarcasm or light-heartedness now. You hadn’t realized how much you’d needed to see your friend before you left. 

Griggs’ bottom lip quivered before they pulled you into another bear hug. You heard them sniffle, then say, in a voice as genuine as yours, “Be careful, Gray.” You hugged them tightly, keeping your own tears at bay. “You too.” you whispered. 

After a few moments, the two of you untangled and wiped your eyes. You took a deep breath, steadying your voice. “Well, the apartment will be empty now. You’re welcome to stay if you want to pick up my lease.” 

“Fuck yes, your place was always nicer than mine.” Griggs beamed. You smiled back at them.

God, you needed to get out of here before you started crying again.

“Alright Kuruk,” you called into the living room. “All good to go.” 

Kuruk switched off the holo and stood up from the couch, placing his helmet back on his head. “Good. After you.” 

You looked over your shoulder at Griggs, giving them a nod, which they returned. “See you when I see you.” they said.

Tears pricked at your eyes. Shit.

“Yeah.” you said before quickly exiting the apartment. You were afraid your voice would crack if you returned the phrase. 

Kuruk followed you out, shutting the door behind him and pretending not to notice as you wiped the moisture from your eyes. 

***

Once the two of you had returned to the Buzzard, you set your things on the floor of the common area, watching the rest of the Knights milling about to ready various parts of the ship for departure. Kuruk assumed his usual post in the cockpit, leaving you standing in the middle of the room wondering what you were supposed to do now. Luckily, you didn’t have to wonder long.

You shivered as a familiar cold feeling rushed down your spine. The corners of your mouth perked up, but only just. “Master Ren.”

“Gray.” Hearing his voice was like coffee on a cold day. An initial jolt, followed by a familiar warmth. He emerged from behind you, stopping by your side. “Are you ready?”

What a loaded question; ready to leave Coruscant (for the third time this week)? Ready to start tagging along with the Knights of Ren? Ready to start training as his apprentice? Ready to embark on what would likely be the craziest chapter in your life story?

The answer was the same for all of the above: hell no. 

But whether or not you were ready didn’t matter as much. What mattered was the unspoken question that Kylo Ren was really asking. 

_ Last chance to turn back; do you want to?  _

You turned to look up at Kylo, determination shining in your eyes. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” 

He met your gaze and nodded in approval. “Good.” 

You heard a chorus of heavy footsteps entering the room, followed by the sound of the hatch closing and the engines roaring to life. As the ship began to take off, Kylo addressed the Knights. 

“We should arrive at Kamparas in around twelve hours, so I suggest you all get some sleep. When the sun rises on Kamparas, so do we. 

“Yes, Master,” the Knights spoke in unison. You remained silent until you realized that Kylo was staring pointedly at you. Your cheeks burned.

“Yes, Master.” you said softly. You kept your eyes facing forward, too embarrassed to make eye contact with anyone. 

At that, Kylo took his leave, crossing the space behind you to descend the ladder into the barracks. The other Knights, save for Kuruk and Vicrul, who were seated in the cockpit, followed suit. 

You looked around, not sure what you were supposed to do or where you were supposed to go. You couldn’t wait to assimilate to the Knights’ routine so that you wouldn’t feel so kriffing helpless all the time. You peeked your head into the cockpit.

“So, uh….” At the sound of your voice, Vicrul looked over at you from his seat in the copilot’s chair. “Where am I supposed to go?”

Vicrul brought his hands up to either side of his helmet, and you watched as he removed it from his head. 

Fuck. Were all the Knights good-looking?

Vicrul’s brow was soft, hanging low over smoldering blue eyes. His stubble framed a square jaw, and a pair of pink lips that were currently smirking up at you. 

“Unfortunately, there aren’t any beds left in our barracks. However,” He raised an eyebrow flirtatiously. “You’re more than welcome to share my bunk.”

You rolled your eyes, your expression not betraying for a moment how much his face had caught you off-guard. “Kuruk, a real answer please.” 

Kuruk, who had already taken the liberty of removing his own helmet, shook his head, keeping his eyes on the stars. “Sorry, Gray, but he’s right. No more beds in our room.” He paused, as if deciding whether or not to continue. “There is another bed on the ship…”

“Perfect,” you replied. “Where is it?”

Kuruk winced, accompanied by a snicker from Vicrul. You narrowed your eyes at him. “What?”

Vicrul crossed his arms over his chest and smiled smugly up at you. “It’s in Master Ren’s room.” 

The color drained from your face. “Oh.” was all you could say. You thought about it for a split second. Then you decided  _ fuck no. _

“That’s fine,” you said, “I’ll just sleep on the floor in here.” 

Kuruk shook his head again, ruefully. “I’m pretty sure he’s expecting you to sleep in his room.” 

You looked at him incredulously. “And what makes you so sure of that?”

“He took your stuff with him.”

Your eyes widened. You quickly turned around, frantically looking over every inch of the common area for your duffel bag. 

No dice. 

Dammit. 

You took a deep breath, exhaling loudly. “Well this day just keeps getting better and better.” Your voice dripped with sarcasm as you dejectedly trudged across the floor to the ladder. 

“Third door on the right.” called Kuruk behind you. The way he said it made it sound like an apology. 

“My offer still stands, princess.” Vicrul’s smug voice rang out as you started stepping down the ladder. You shook your head. “That’s still my worst option.” you replied, “And I told you not to call me that!” 

You heard Kuruk chuckle, followed by Vicrul’s chipper reply, “Yeah, you did.” 

You found Kylo’s door, third on the right like Kuruk had said. You took a deep breath then knocked. The door shot open almost immediately, revealing a very shirtless Kylo Ren. 

You gulped. 

Kylo looked at you standing in the doorway, his facial expression impossible to read, before nodding to a small cot on the wall opposite you. Beside it sat your duffel bag.  _ Well,  _ you thought,  _ at least we’re on opposite sides of the room.  _

Kylo continued to stare at you. “Are you just going to stand there?” 

“Oh!” you practically hopped into the room, embarrassed that you had been standing there for so long. You quickly walked over to your cot and sat down. He quirked an eyebrow at you.

“You’re jumpy.” 

You met his gaze. “I just didn’t expect that we were going to be roommates.” 

Kylo smirked, wordlessly resuming his nighttime preparations. You looked around the room; it was small, obviously meant for one person. Kylo must have brought out the cot specifically for you.

You looked at Kylo’s bed. It was modest, a simple twin that barely looked long enough to fit a man of his height. Various black robes had been hung over the iron frames, along with his wide leather belt. On a small table sat two items- his helmet, and his lightsaber. 

Realizing that you had just been sitting there staring  _ again _ , you busied yourself with unbuckling and removing your boots. Once you had finished, you sat there awkwardly, not knowing what to do next. Normally, you slept in your underwear- at the most, a tank top and shorts. But there was no way in hell you were going to start stripping with Kylo Ren  _ right there _ . So, you did the only thing you could think of: You swung your socked feet up onto the bed and laid down, fully clothed, to go to sleep. 

You heard the rustling on Kylo’s side of the room stop. “You’re not serious.”

You remained still, on your side facing the wall. “I am.”

“Gray, at least take your coat off.”

“I’m cold.”

“Take off your blaster, then.”

You had actually forgotten about that. 

You reached into your waistband, pulling out the pistol that you had taken from your apartment and sliding it into your duffel bag. You looked up at him. “Happy?”

He sighed, shaking his head. “You’re acting like a child.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you said, rolling over to face the wall again. “this is how I sleep.” 

“Under four layers of sweaty clothes?” he asked, sarcastically.

“Sometimes.” 

He groaned, frustrated. “You’ve never been  _ shy  _ around me, why start now?” 

You remained silent. 

You heard him sigh. “Fine. But when you wake up drenched in sweat because it is  _ not cold in here,  _ don’t blame me.” 

You closed your eyes. He was right, you were being childish. The two of you were adults; it wasn’t as if you hadn’t been around shirtless men before. It wasn’t like no one had seen you in less clothing than this… though it had been a  _ very  _ long time since then. You took a deep breath. You were going to have to trust him if this was going to work. This wasn’t that big of a deal. Just a little bit of vulnerability.

Baby steps. 

You pushed back the covers and stood up, avoiding eye contact with Kylo. Keeping your vision 

trained on the wall perpendicular to yours and Kylo’s, you took off your jacket and draped it over the foot of your cot. You followed suit with your gloves, vest, knit turtleneck, along with other pieces of clothing until you were left in a tank top and your dark gray pants. You didn’t mind showing a little shoulder, but the pants were staying on. Very on. 

Once you were finished, you got back under the covers and resumed your position facing away from him. 

“See,” you heard Kylo’s deep voice from across the room. “Was that so hard?’

You felt a blush creeping across your cheeks. Why did that keep happening today?

“Goodnight.” You replied in an icy tone, ignoring his question. 

You heard Kylo chuckle as he turned out the lights. 

Regardless of the tension in the room, your eyelids had grown heavy very quickly. You had lost count of how many hours you’d been awake; you needed sleep. Before slipping out of consciousness, you quietly reached down to your ankle, pulling Dorothy from her concealed sheath. You curled your fist around her hilt and brought it to rest under your pillow. 

You were willing to take the first steps toward trusting Kylo Ren… but old habits die hard. 

Finally, you let your eyelids fall, and relaxed into a dreamless sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SURPRISE! DOUBLE UPLOADS!   
> Consider it an early New Year's surprise.   
> What do we think of the chapter? Let me know!!


	11. Not Here to Make Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You start to get settled.

“So why Kamparas?” you asked.

Kylo stared out the transparasteel windshield of the  _ Buzzard _ as the vibrant green of the planet’s surface drew closer and closer. After a night of restful sleep, you were feeling refreshed and eager to set foot on this beautiful new world. The ship had already begun to land, and you could feel the mechanical shifting of the wheels being lowered beneath your feet. 

Kylo’s baritone tumbled out of the vocoder in his helmet, “Are you familiar with this planet?”

“I’ve heard of it,” you replied, “Most bounty hunters have. It’s a good place to stop and restock on supplies. I haven’t been, but I’ve been told it’s almost like a small city now that so many members of the Guild found out about it.” You tried to ignore the pang of sadness in your chest as you thought about Griggs, and all of the times that they had raved about some bar on this planet that apparently brewed the best spotchka they’d ever tasted. You wished they were here to grab a tankard with you.

Kylo nodded. “There’s a training facility for the Knights here.” he said, still gazing through the windshield at your destination. “The planet is neutral territory, so no stormtroopers to get in our way.”

You were surprised at how easy it was for Kylo to talk about his own soldiers like that; like they were a nuisance. He was their Supreme Leader, after all. They were  _ his  _ army.

“So this is where we’ll begin my training, then?” you asked. He had been so vague before when you’d asked for more details about your training; you were eager to learn exactly what he planned on teaching you. 

“Not quite.” Kylo replied. “What you’ll be doing here will mainly be for my benefit, not yours.”

_ What the hell was that supposed to mean? _

“Am I supposed to know what that means?” You asked.

You couldn’t see his face beneath his mask, but you recognized the ghost of a smirk all the same. 

“No.”

You sighed. Great. Still a drama queen. 

“Master-”

The voice came from behind you. You turned to face it, as did Kylo, and your eyes were met with the plain, scuffed-up iron mask of Cardo. This was the first time you had ever heard him speak.

“I’ll be going straight to the forge. Anything you need me to bring to Abrekh?”

Kylo gave Cardo a curt nod towards a steel crate sitting off to the side of the hull. “That. I’ll be there later today to tell him what to do with it.” 

Cardo nodded and grabbed the crate, which looked like it must weigh at least half your body weight, and easily toted it over to add to a small pile of other crates and containers across the hull. The sheer size of the man was a bit terrifying; he was easily the tallest and broadest of all the Knights, even Kylo. 

You turned to Kylo again. “Who’s Abrekh?”

Kylo continued gazing out the windshield. “You’ll meet him.”

“Yeah but who is he?”

“You can ask him yourself when you meet him.”

You sighed and rolled your eyes. He looked over at you, chin tilted in your direction. “I thought you were done acting like a child.”

You almost replied with  _ I thought you were going to stop being so cryptic,  _ but you realized that he had made no such promise. Just because he asked you to be his apprentice, that didn’t mean that he was going to suddenly start telling you all his secrets. Your mouth had begun to form the words, but you quickly stopped before they could become sound.

“Hm.” you heard Kylo hum, “I haven’t seen you do that before.”

You quirked an eyebrow. “Do what?” 

“Shut yourself up.”

Your confused expression morphed into a glare. “Ha ha. Funny.”

You uttered your quip just in time for the ship to land on Kamparas’ lush green surface. 

“Not trying to be.” Kylo said, still studying you through the visor of his helmet. “Just making an observation.”

You huffed out a laugh. “Any other  _ observations  _ you’d like to make, Supreme Leader?” 

“You’re trying too hard to look tough around the Knights.”

You had to stop your jaw from dropping to the floor.  _ WOW, don’t pull any punches, now. _

You cleared your throat to disguise your surprise. “Excuse me?” you asked.

Kylo returned his gaze to the windshield. “You may have been able to hide from people behind your ‘mysterious killer in a mask’ act in the past, but my men aren’t the type to buy into that crap.” he paused, before adding, “Also, they perfected that act before you even got started.”

_ Not much of a choice you’re giving me anyway,  _ you thought begrudgingly,  _ you stole my kriffing mask.  _

“So you’re saying I should, what, just be myself?” Your voice dripped sarcasm. Your question made it sound like he was a concerned mother giving a pep talk to a teenager trying to make new friends.

You heard what sounded like an amused snort garble through his vocoder. “I’m not sure I know enough about you to answer that question.” He turned slightly to give you a curious side eye. “But I will soon enough.” 

That made your cheeks grow hot and your blood go cold. Any excitement you had for the training to come was starting to shift into something closer to dread. You had no idea what to expect, and that scared the hell out of you.

***

The Knights’ base on Kamparas was… exactly what you’d expected. It somehow looked humble and foreboding at the same time, constructed of sturdy metal walls with no windows in sight. It felt strong and secure, though anything but welcoming- just like the men for whom it had been built. 

Most of the Knights went their separate ways after dropping by the barracks; they didn’t bother to say where they were going, and Kylo didn’t seem to give it a second thought. You had expected him to rule the Knights with an iron fist, but instead he seemed to take a very hands-off approach to his leadership of them. You got the feeling he trusted them enough to know that when he needed them, they would be there. No micromanagement necessary.

_ Their allegiance needs to be earned,  _ Kylo had said.

What had  _ he _ done to earn their loyalty?

And whatever it was, would you be expected to do the same?

“Ground control to Gray; come in Gray.” Kuruk’s mocking voice brought you back to the moment at hand; Kylo had instructed him to show you around the base while he joined Cardo at the forge. Currently, you were standing in the center of a modest living area of the barracks; there were two mismatched couches made of some sort of black leather that had certainly seen better days. There was a table in the corner sporting a Dejarik board, accompanied by two sturdy iron stools. You noticed a few other pieces of well-worn furniture around the room, most of which had been haphazardly placed with absolutely no thought given to what would suit the aesthetic of the space. Clearly, function and comfort were the only things on the mind- or minds- of whomever had done the decorating.

You shook your head and refocused on Kuruk. “Right. Sorry, just zoned out for a second.” You gestured for him to begin the tour. “Lead the way.”

You followed Kuruk as he led you through the base. He showed you the kitchen, which looked as if the only appliance that had ever been touched was the instant hydrator. Evidently, this crew was perfectly content living off of dehydrated rations. 

The barracks were simple, but at least they had an extra room for you. It was a modest little bunk, twin sized bed with an old chest of drawers against the wall. It was all that you needed. 

After dropping off your duffel, Kuruk showed you around the rest of the grounds. The base consisted of three buildings: the barracks, the forge, and the gym- or at least that’s what Kuruk had called it. 

The ‘gym’ was more like an arena surrounded by weight lifting equipment and different weapons for sparring. Unlike the barracks, the gym had more windows than walls. The arena didn’t even have a ceiling; it was completely uncovered, making it feel as though it was more of a stage than a training ground. You could easily imagine the Knights standing around the perimeter of the arena, trying their luck in sparring matches against one another while the rest of their ranks studied each move, critiquing each others’ techniques and learning from their brothers’ victories and failures. 

Knowing that you would probably be the one in the center of that arena very soon was equal parts thrilling and terrifying. 

“That’s pretty much everything.” Kuruk said as the two of you exited the gym, “Master Ren and Cardo are busy in the Forge, so you’ll have to wait until later to see that. I’m going to the outpost to grab some rations and supplies. You’re welcome to come along, but…” His voice trailed off. 

“But…?” you prompted him. 

He was about to answer you when he was cut off by the noisy revving of a speeder rapidly approaching the two of you. You both eyed the zippy black vehicle as it came to a sharp stop in front of the gym. Two people occupied the speeder:

Trudgen, sitting in the backseat and manspreading across the bench that could easily fit 3.

And Vicrul, one hand on the wheel and the other draped leisurely over the side of the speeder. 

“Your carriage, princess.” Vicrul gushed from the driver’s seat.

Kuruk nodded in the speeder’s direction. “But  _ that _ .” he said pointedly. 

You nodded your head knowingly. Your choices were to either sit at the base alone, or venture out into town with the Knight whom you trusted most, the one that you detested most, and the one who detested  _ you _ the most. 

It wasn’t the easiest decision, but not necessarily the hardest either.

You sighed heavily, but countered it with a chipper “Shotgun!” before making your way to the other side of the speeder. You weren’t sure what Trudgen’s problem with you was, but you were pretty sure he’d be more likely to scoot over for Kuruk than for you, so you didn’t even bother.

Vicrul’s mask stayed trained on you as you climbed into the front seat. “Can’t stand to be away from me, huh?” he asked, smugly.

Ignoring his comment, you twisted around to address Kuruk in the back seat. “What supplies do you need from the outpost?”

He tilted his head upward, as if deep in thought. “Hm, well we need food, there’s barely anything at the base. Planned on grabbing a few things for the ship, and Master Ren asked me to get you some clothes-”

“Clothes?” You echoed, interrupting his verbal shopping list. “What’s wrong with the clothes I have?” There was a beat of silence, and you couldn’t tell whether Kuruk was laughing or embarrassed. It was impossible to tell when he was wearing that damn helmet. Maybe it was both.

After a small sigh, Kuruk replied, “Master Ren said to get you something black.”

***

The outpost was larger than you had expected. You’d thought you might find a few stands and carts with old, weathered-looking ex-bounty hunters selling their wares, maybe a shabby-looking shack brewing Griggs’ favorite spotchka. Surprisingly, Vicrul had driven the four of you to a full-fledged town. 

It wasn’t a large town by any means, but a town nonetheless. Instead of the carts and stands you’d expected, you found sturdily-built shops selling all of the essentials for any self-respecting space traveler. There was a body shop that seemed to service anything from small speeders to entire freighters, as well as a pawn shop, a few buildings that looked as if they might serve as permanent dwellings, and in the epicenter of the town, a large building that seemed to serve as an inn/brewpub. Upon closer inspection, you noticed that from the looks of the overdressed- or  _ under _ dressed- women standing close to the entrance, it also served as a brothel. 

Once the speeder was parked, Trudgen piped up for the first time since you’d heard him yesterday on the  _ Buzzard.  _ “I’m headed to see Dev first.” he said, jerking his head in the direction of the body shop, then looking at Kuruk. “You comin’?” 

Kuruk looked at Trudgen and nodded, then at you for a moment before addressing Vicrul. “I assume you don’t mind taking her shopping?”

“It would be my genuine pleasure.” Vic gushed. You tried to ignore the way his voice betrayed an ear-to-ear smile. As annoying as Vicrul was, you knew that you’d have to get over it if the two of you were going to get along. After all, you wouldn’t want to make things  _ inconvenient  _ for Kylo. God forbid. 

Kuruk looked back at you, and you could hear the stark contrast between his apologetic tone versus Vicrul’s smug predatory one. “Is that okay?” You could feel all eyes on you, particularly Trudgen’s. His gaze felt… judgemental. You could tell that though you already seemed to be on thin ice with him for some reason, your response was going to affect his opinion of you even further. 

You could practically hear Kylo’s voice in your ear, his unspoken council reverberating through your mind.  _ Earn their respect. Show them who you are.  _

You smirked at Kuruk, donning the familiar air of confidence bordering on cockiness that had always served you well;  _ the Gray Ghost is not the kind of woman who needs to be coddled.  _

“If you think I can’t handle idiots like  _ this one, _ ” you gave a curt nod towards Vic, “then I’m pretty insulted.”

Vicrul took a step towards you, bringing him closer than an arm’s length. “Oh, please enlighten me,” his voice dropped an octave, “on exactly how you  _ handle  _ men like me, princess.”

Your expression didn’t give away a thing. “Usually with a blaster and a very short patience.”

You heard Trudgen let out an exasperated scoff, “Fuckin’ Maker, enough of this bullshit.” He turned and started toward the body shop with wide strides, careless of whether Kuruk was following him or not. 

Kuruk, who seemed thoroughly exhausted from dealing with every one of you, shook his head in exasperation. “Please don’t kill each other.” he said, his request sounding like he was only half-joking, before turning to follow in Trudgen’s wake. 

You didn’t wait for Vicrul to speak first. “Clothes.” You said, abruptly, surveying the outpost with your arms crossed over your chest. “Where do we find them?”

Vicrul didn’t even acknowledge your question before leaving your side to purposefully stroll into town. You raised an eyebrow, but followed him anyway. Hopefully, he was leading you in the right direction. 

Hopefully. 

***

Thank the Maker, he had been. 

Within minutes, the two of you were inside a comfortable shop that smelled overwhelmingly of leather and smoke. You had tried to speak with the sales clerk yourself, but Vicrul had swooped in and started barking orders at the poor man before you could make so much as a peep. Soon you were being handed pants, shirts, vests, jackets, belts, boots, holsters- entire ensembles, really. Then before you could protest, Vicrul was shoving you into a small dressing room. Well, to call it a dressing room was generous. It was barely big enough for you to take more than one step in any direction without hitting the walls, and the only partition was a black woolen curtain that hung loosely from a rod barely two feet above your head. You did your best to stay as far from the curtain as possible, lest you accidentally move it enough to the side that Vicrul would see you changing. You knew he’d be there to catch you slipping up if you did. He wouldn’t miss that chance. 

You tried on multiple sets of clothing, all various shades of black with a few darker grays thrown in. To be honest, you hadn’t expected Vicrul to pick out clothes for you that you’d actually  _ like,  _ but so far you couldn’t deny that he had good taste. Vic had given you all sorts of options- some pants were thinner, stretchy leggings that allowed for ample movement and breathability, while others were made of thicker, more durable materials and sported multiple pockets, large and small. 

As for tops, you were a big fan of the versatile crew neck and turtleneck basics, though Vicrul was successful in persuading you to pick out a few cropped sports bra style tops. Usually, you didn’t go for anything that left too much skin exposed. Your line of work tended to involve people trying to injure/kill you, so leaving your body vulnerable and uncovered wasn’t exactly the smartest choice. However, Vicrul reminded you, for training purposes the main concern would be movement, not protection. Plus, you  _ really  _ liked the way the cropped tops hugged your natural waist and emphasized your shoulders. Looking at yourself in the cloudy mirror inside the fitting room, you couldn’t deny that everything Vic had picked out for you made you feel so damn  _ powerful.  _ Like it wasn’t your reputation that demanded respect, it was  _ you.  _

You had narrowed everything down to about three outfits’ worth of clothes, complete with a new pair of black leather combat boots. Vicrul had begun transferring the appropriate amount of credits to the sales clerk, when something caught your eye.

It was quite possibly the coolest leather jacket you had ever seen, and all of the leather was a beautiful shade of slate gray. Black accents created a slimmed waist along the sides and decorated the sleeves as well, and it boasted multiple pockets along the sides. You enjoyed new clothes as much as the next person, but  _ this… _ this jacket was made for you. 

“How much for the jacket?” you asked the clerk, eyes still glued to the gorgeous gray leather. Vicrul followed your gaze, sighing when he saw the jacket in question. 

“What is it with you and the color gray?” he asked, shaking his head slightly. Even so, he reached out and grabbed the jacket, adding it to the pile of clothes he was currently purchasing. 

“I don’t mind paying for-” You started to protest, but Vicrul stopped your sentence short with a dismissive wave of his gloved hand. 

“When the Supreme Leader of the First Order offers to buy you something, don’t question it. Refusing his generosity will only make him angry.” 

You couldn’t argue with that. 

Once the two of you left the shop, you started to head towards the speeder when Vicrul stopped you. “Hang on, princess, there’s one more stop we need to make.” 

You rolled your eyes at the nickname (for what felt like the hundredth time today) and raised an eyebrow. “What are we stopping for?” 

You could hear the unapologetic smile on his lips when he answered with just one word- “Booze.” 

You choked out something between a scoff and a laugh. “It’s barely ten in the morning!” you held a hand to your chest in feigned offense. “Is a shopping trip with me really so bad that you have to resort to alcoholism, Vic?”

You were surprised when Vicrul started laughing- not just a little chuckle, but a laugh, and it rang out like a bell, almost musical in the way it tumbled from his helmet. 

_ I can tell you that they think you’re funny,  _ Kuruk had told you.

“Well, if it makes you feel better,” Vicrul said, “I day-drink on good mornings as well as bad.” he was playing along with your joke. Was this banter? Were you and Vicrul  _ bantering _ ? 

Huh. Go figure. 

“But no, I wanted to get something for the boys to drink tonight.” He continued, “It’s sort of a tradition for us. First night back on base is when we get a chance to unwind a little bit. We don’t get many nights where we can let our guard down, so we take advantage of our time on Kamparas when we can.” He tilted his head down to look at you. “What do you drink?”

You shrugged. “Little of everything, I guess. Don’t have many strong opinions on drinks, only hard no is anything that’s too sweet.” 

Vicrul nodded his head in approval. “Whiskey it is.” 

You were a little stunned at how easy Vic was to get along with; you had expected him to be insufferable. So far, your experience had proven him to be an obnoxious flirt who didn’t take you seriously, but today he had treated you like an equal. Albeit, he had taken the lead on the shopping trip, ignoring your protests when you tried to pay for the jacket or refused to try on clothes that showed more skin than you were accustomed to. But really, the whole outing had felt like a day spent shopping with a friend. Maybe you had passed judgement on him too quickly. 

You felt a little smile play on your lips. “Whiskey’s fine with me.” 

Vicrul did a double take, looking overly shocked even though you couldn’t see his expression. “Is that an actual  _ smile _ ? I didn’t realize you were capable.” 

Your shoulders shook with a silent laugh, elbowing him playfully. “You’re right, something must be wrong. I should see a doctor.” 

He laughed again, your ears quickly getting used to the sound. You hadn’t even joined the Knights of Ren yet, and within the span of two days you had already started to get chummy with two of them. You’d thought it’d be… harder than this? You had expected to have to work a lot harder to earn their friendship- hell, you hadn’t even expected friendship, just tolerance at the most. It felt too good to be true. Friends weren’t something that usually came easily to you. 

And just like that, your guard was up again. 

You couldn’t go soft here; these were trained killers. You weren’t here to make friends, you were here to learn how to master your potential in the Force. Connections bred weakness; they made it easier to get hurt. You couldn’t afford that. 

Vicrul seemed to sense the change in your signature, any lightheartedness switching in an instant to cold, hard resolve. He could have asked what you were thinking about, but for some reason he kept his mouth shut. You couldn’t figure out why, but you were still thankful for the silence. 

The two of you loaded up a crate with several bottles of clear and golden liquors, along with two growlers of dark and light beer. Neither of you said much at all to each other until you were loading up your purchases into the speeder. Vicrul spoke to you as he circled around to open the driver side door. 

“Master Ren wants you in the gym this afternoon. I’d wear something easy to move in if I were you.” 

You tried to seem indifferent. “So my training starts today, then?” 

Vicrul hummed in confirmation. “Just make sure you’re there before noon; it’ll be best if you get to the gym before he does. Master Ren doesn’t like to be kept waiting.” 

You took a deep breath and nodded. At that point, you heard the doors to the backseat open, and you turned to see Kuruk and Trudgen climbing into the speeder holding steel crates full of various tools and wires, most likely for the  _ Buzzard _ . Kuruk looked from Vicrul to you, notably surprised that you had the two of you had followed his request and not actually killed each other. 

“I see the two of you were able to get along.” He commented. Vicrul stretched an arm behind you and draped it across the top of your seat, brushing your shoulders. 

“Oh, we got along great,” Vicrul said, his voice honey-sweet. “Didn’t we princess?” 

You grimaced. So much for getting on easily with Vic. 

You picked up his hand gingerly by one of his fingers, pulling his arm up and over your head, back to the steering wheel. “And we’ll continue to, so long as you stop doing shit like  _ that. _ ” you said dryly. 

You heard Kuruk snort from the backseat, and Virul started the speeder before backing out of his parking space. “Fair enough.” 

A comfortable silence fell over the four of you as you sped back to the base, and you tried to focus on the feeling of the wind on your face. It was a welcome distraction from the incessant wondering that your brain kept trying to start up about the training you would be doing with Kylo in less than two hours from now. Whether you were worried or not, it was happening. 

You shut your eyes, laid your head back, and let the wind brush away the fears of things that you knew you couldn’t control. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all like the chapter! Check this chapter out on Wattpad if you'd like to see my inspirations for some of the clothes that Vicrul picked out for you, as well as Gray's leather jacket.


	12. Elephants in Rooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You fight, you drink, you learn new things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter.... is fucking LONG.  
> I'm talking over 9k words. I know that's about average for some writers, but not for me. I tried splitting this up into two different chapters, but no matter where I tried to separate it, the story just didn't flow the way I wanted it to. So, here you go! Have an extra-long chapter as a late birthday present from me to you (my birthday was on Tuesday and I wrote a lot of this then!) 
> 
> WARNINGS: fighting, tiny bit of blood but not in a sexual way, and !SMUT! FINALLY!

You strolled into the gym at a quarter to noon, sporting a simple pair of thick black leggings and a black athletic top with long sleeves, fitted to hug your torso comfortably. Whatever you were about to spend your afternoon doing, Vicrul had told you to wear something that you could move in, so you had come prepared. 

As soon as you stepped into the sky-lit circle of the arena, you could sense that you were not alone in the gym. You were beginning to get used to it- the feeling that you were simultaneously being pulled in the directions of six different scrutinizing gazes. 

Your eyes took a moment to adjust to the blazing brightness of the sunlit circle before you were able to make out the figures surrounding you, each of them cloaked in the shadows beyond the perimeter of the arena. Surprisingly, you weren’t met with masks this time, but six different pairs of eyes.

All of the Knights had shed their formidable helmets and mud-caked leather ensembles and replaced them with clothes not unlike yours. Each of them had dressed in thinner, breathable fabrics meant for movement, not protection, which told you that this was obviously a place where they felt safe enough to let their guards down. Evidently, they were so sure of how far their reputation preceded them on Kamparas that they were certain no one would even think about attacking this base. It gave you comfort to know that you were so safe here, but… you were also wondering if you had underestimated just how wary you should be of the Knights of Ren.

Were you in over your head here?

An electrifying chill alerted you of the presence behind you. You turned, head inclined in a respectful nod with eyes that peered through your lashes to meet his gaze. “Master Ren.” 

Unlike the rest of the Knights, Kylo hadn’t changed much about his wardrobe. He still wore his familiar ribbed tunic and pants, only having left his cowl and helmet behind. He stopped about two feet from where you stood, taking a moment to appraise what he saw.

You could practically feel his eyes roving down your body, and you were suddenly self-conscious of just how tightly the thin black fabric hugged your every curve. You suppressed the urge to cross your arms in front of your chest, and instead squared your shoulders and straightened your spine. 

It seemed like an eternity before Kylo had apparently gotten what he deemed a sufficient eyeful, and he gave you an approving nod as he strode into the center of the arena. You waited until you were sure he wasn’t looking anymore to roll your eyes.  _ Men.  _

Kylo led you into the central point of the gym, turning to face you when he stopped and standing at ease. “For the next three days,” he began, “I will be assessing how much you already know, and how much you will need to be taught.” You nodded, your eyes focused on his. 

“Today you will not use the Force. I want to see what you’re capable of on your own.” He began to pace in a circle around you, and you couldn’t help but remember how only days ago, the two of you had been in this exact same position in his chambers on the Finalizer. That felt like another life now; so much had changed in such a short time. 

“A person’s physical form can wield the Force,” Kylo continued as he circled you, “but control of the Force is strengthened by control of the body. That being said,” you could hear Kylo’s voice directly behind you. “You can’t depend on the Force for all of your strength. If you rely on it for everything, then you don’t control it. It controls you.” You felt him shift behind you until his lips were inches from your ear. “If you’re nothing without the Force,” he whispered, “then you’re nothing at all.”

_ Breathe.  _

He continued past you, leather hands clasped behind his back. “Ap’lek.” The Knight walked forward at the summons, his face expressionless. Kylo addressed Ap’lek, but his eyes stayed forward as he kept walking to the perimeter of the arena. “You’re up first. Hand to hand.” Once he reached the edge of the circle, Kylo turned to face the two of you, and you could tell from his gaze that he was going to stay focused intently on your every move.  _ No pressure.  _

“Let’s see what our little ghost can do.” Kylo murmured with a smirk. “Begin.”   
  


Your eyes found Ap’lek in an instant. Both of you crouched forward, guards up, and you began to circle each other while you waited to see who would make the first move. You kept your guard up while you assessed the man before you.

Ap’lek was leaner than you had expected. He had muscle on him, of course, but he carried himself with a different kind of strength than that which you had noticed while watching the other Knights. He was calm- graceful, even -with an air about him that made you feel as though his gaze went right through you. His eyes were dark, hooded by thick black eyebrows that were drawn down in concentration. His wavy black hair had been pulled back into a ponytail, making his high cheekbones and defined jawline even more prominent. 

You were ready when he made his first move. His slow side-step that he had been circling you with became a run in a split second, bringing him behind you in a flash. Preparing for a punch from behind, you quickly turned on your heel, hooking your right arm over your left shoulder to block him. However, no punch came. Instead, you were able to crouch just in time to avoid getting knocked over by a powerful kick aimed right at your head. 

You popped back up, throwing two punches at his stomach. The first one hit, but Ap’lek caught your wrist before you could land the second. He attempted yanking you to the floor but you yanked back, twisting his arm behind him in a direction that must have been very painful judging by the strangled grunt/cry that it elicited from him. 

The moment that he relinquished his grip on your wrist, you scrambled back onto your feet and managed a good kick to the bend of his knee, forcing it to the floor. You shoved your hands down on his shoulders, preparing to land another kick to his upper back that would hopefully plant him face-first on the ground leaving him down for the count, but at the last second he reached up to firmly (painfully) grip both of your wrists. Then he was yanking your hands up and over him, and it took your brain a few seconds to register that he had thrown your entire body over his shoulders and flat onto the sandy floor in front of him. 

You blinked a couple of times, reeling from his throw. Once your eyes had refocused, you saw Ap’lek standing over you. After a beat, he sunk down to one knee and reached out his hand, offering it to you. You took it, letting him pull you back up to your feet. Once the two of you were both standing, he turned to face Master Ren, clasping his hands behind his back and standing at ease. You followed suit.

Kylo’s stance mirrored Ap’lek’s, tall and solid with a gaze that was the very definition of focus. 

“Again.” he grunted.

The two of you followed his order, turning once again to face and circle one another. This time, Ap’lek spoke, his voice piercing the tense silence. “That kick from behind was good.” His expression betrayed nothing, but the tone of his voice seemed somewhat impressed, encouraging even. “I won’t fall for it again, but keep thinking like that.” 

You were surprised that he was complimenting you, but you kept your guard up all the same. Letting his encouragement bolster your resolve, you gave him a determined smile and nodded. “I’ll just have to get creative then.”

The two of you sparred for what felt like hours, falling into rhythm with each other’s fighting styles as you both studied the way your opponent moved, the patterns that they would habitually succumb to. Most often, you ended up on the ground, but every once in a while you would come out on top. Whenever that happened, Ap’lek would seem a little stunned for a fraction of a second- but the surprise would only last the blink of an eye. Then he’d begin the next match as if the loss had never even happened. His ego seemed practically nonexistent. You were beginning to understand what Kuruk had meant when he’d told you Ap’lek was so calm it was scary. You weren’t sure if anything could actually shake him.

Eventually, Master Ren held up his hand in a ‘stop’ gesture at the end of one of your matches. The two of you obeyed and watched him expectantly as he strolled out into the center of the ring. 

“I’ve seen enough.” he said, nodding to Ap’lek to go join the others at the perimeter of the arena. Kylo faced you before continuing. “Drink this, then we’ll move on to armed combat.” He pressed a bottle of water into your hand, and you proceeded to drain it of its contents. While you drank, he continued. “Do you have a weapon of choice?”

You drank until the last drop before shrugging, answering his question between pants. “I’m adaptable,” you said, “what are my options?” 

Kylo turned to face the largest of the Knights, whom you could only assume was Cardo. He gave him a nod, which prompted Cardo to leave and return in seconds with a large rolling structure upon which hung all manner of weapons. You could see knives, axes, clubs and even a whip- some looked old, some new, all of them a mix of old-fashioned metal alongside some more modern models which seemed to run on some sort of laser-based energy source. You also noticed a few different types of firearms. You looked over your shoulder at Kylo, who was watching you closely. “Can I try more than one?” you asked. 

“Eventually, yes.” he replied. “But just pick one for today.”

You turned back to the array of weapons and studied each one carefully. A small pair of knives caught your eye, each one sporting a metal blade about half the length of your forearm. You took one of them in your hands, testing the weight and the way it felt in your grip. Once you’d decided you were satisfied with the feel of them, you curled your fists around the handles of each knife, holding them at the ready. Kylo chuckled behind you, causing you to turn towards him and raise an eyebrow in a silent question. 

He shook his head ruefully. “So predictable.” You didn’t bother asking him to elaborate; he was already walking towards the perimeter again. 

“Trudgen,” he barked, prompting the broad-chested Knight leaning disinterestedly against the wall to start jogging to meet you in the center of the ring. He was well-built, there was no denying it, but his arrogant air was almost enough to keep you from finding anything about him remotely attractive… almost. He had straight black hair that you’d noticed him periodically combing back with his fingers all afternoon, though a couple strands always seemed to hang over his forehead regardless of his efforts. 

He took a steel machete from the weapons display without a glance in the direction of any of the other options, giving the air a few deadly slices before he found his place before you. Finally, he met your gaze and widened his stance, lifting his weapon at the ready. Though the two of you were only sparring, you wondered whether  _ he  _ was aware of the fact. His glare was no-nonsense; there would be no light-hearted banter with this one. 

You met his gaze with equal resolve. You weren’t going to let someone who acted like a moody teenager intimidate you. Brandishing your knives, you waited for Kylo’s word. 

“Begin.”

Trudgen wasted no time, swinging his machete without hesitation. The blade was just shy of two feet in length, so you had to sidestep a couple paces in order to get enough distance from him. You spun on your heel, twirling gracefully with your arms crossed over your chest. Once past him, you stepped strategically behind him, utilizing the momentum that he had already built up by swinging at you to elbow him further into the direction he was already headed. He stumbled forward and turned to face you, his glare morphing into a genuine sneer. He curled his lip upward and pulled his eyebrows deeper into a scowl. 

You stood at the ready, staring him down with enough smugness to match his disgust. You smirked, and it seemed to egg him on. He grunted, making a show of twirling his machete at his side as he prepared to swing it forward. You waited until he did exactly that to sidestep him once again, but this time he caught your ankle with his foot and you tripped, stumbling forward the same way he had earlier. Thinking fast, you crossed your knives flat against your chest and dove into a somersault until you were back on your feet, about three yards from your opponent. 

You jumped up, knives at the ready once more. You even added a few little hops from side to side for good measure. Adrenaline pumping through your veins, you called over to Trudgen. “Close one.” you huffed. He said nothing, his glare on you so intense it was difficult to match. You matched it anyway.

Wordlessly, he brought his non-dominant hand to join his other in grasping the hilt of his machete. You watched one of his thumbs feel around the handle until it apparently found what it was looking for. A clicking sound, then your eyes widened as the machete split in half, from hilt to blade- one weapon now separated into two. You gulped. 

Trudgen began artfully twirling the blades around him, both moving in figure-eights orbiting him all around. You flipped your knives so that you held one with the blade facing out from your thumb, the other facing out from your pinky. This time, you didn’t wait for him to advance first. 

You leapt at him, already prepared to crouch and dodge his twin machetes, which you didn’t have to wait long to do. He swung at you, slashing with the machetes with such ferocity that you were sure he didn’t much care that this was only a sparring match. He didn’t care if he hurt you or not, so you weren’t going to hold back.

His swings were getting a little too close for comfort, and you knew that if you didn’t get some distance between his machetes and yourself, you were going to lose some blood today. Thinking quickly, you watched and waited for an opening. When it came, you swiftly landed a good kick to his chest, forcing him back about two feet. You took the opportunity to hop back a few more feet, and when he ran forward to gain back the distance, you changed directions, stepping to the side and spinning to face his back. As you did so, you hooked your right arm around his neck, pulling him back and forcing him to arch his spine towards you so that his head was just about even with yours. 

You quickly brought up your other hand to rest the point of your knife dangerously at his neck. He froze all motion except for the angry heaving of his chest. You could hear short strained breaths coming out in huffs through his nose. You brought your head over his shoulder so that he could see you just out the corner of his eye. 

“Why do I get the feeling you underestimated me just now?” you whispered. 

A wave of fury hit you like a brick wall, and you felt Trudgen’s signature shift from dangerous to deadly. His nostrils flared, and within a second you heard the sound of steel hitting the floor, felt Trudgen twist in your headlock, smack his palm flat against your chest, and push you straight into the ground. You gasped at the impact, feeling the air leave your lungs for what felt like the tenth time today. But instead of offering you his hand to help you up like Ap’lek had, Trudgen’s hand was balled into a fist and pulled back, ready to punch your face in. 

You were still processing the last few seconds as you watched Kylo yank Trudgen off of you. Trudgen turned to face him, but just as he seemed to be forming a yell in his mouth, Kylo stretched out a hand and used the Force to pull him to the ground. Now he was towering over a kneeling, fuming Trudgen.

“You were out of line, Trudgen.” Kylo said, his voice menacing, but even. 

Trudgen avoided Kylo's gaze. “Master-”

“She had you.” Kylo continued, ignoring his plea. “The match starts over from there. You know how this goes.”

Trudgen jerked his head further down, biting his tongue. His energy was still seething, you could feel it rolling off of him in waves. “Yes, Master.” he muttered.

“What was that?” Kylo said, tilting his head as if he couldn’t hear him.

Trudgen grimaced. “Yes, Master!” he barked, louder this time.

Kylo released his Force hold and jerked his chin in the direction of the exit. “Go shower, all of you.” You watched him turn and head back to the perimeter of the arena. “I’ve seen enough for today.”

Trudgen made a beeline for the exit without giving you so much as a glance. You noticed a drop of blood trickle down his neck, and you realized that your knife must have cut him as he was twisting out of your headlock. 

_ What is this guy’s problem? _

“You okay?” 

You turned to face the voice, and your eyes were met with a hand extended toward you. You took it, letting Vicrul pull you to your feet. 

“I’m fine.” You said, brushing off the dust and sand from your sweat-soaked clothes. “I’ll be better after a shower.” 

Vic’s blue eyes followed your hands as they brushed over your curves. “Well, I’m planning on taking one too. I’d just hate to waste water on  _ two  _ showers when we could just-”

“I’m gonna stop you right there.” You interrupted, shoving him to the side and starting toward the perimeter of the arena. “I’ll be along in a bit, don’t wait up.” 

You heard Vicrul mutter something like  _ she doesn’t know what she’s missing  _ as he made his way toward the exit. That left you and Kylo alone in the arena.

You went up to him, holding his gaze as he watched you approach him. After a moment of silence, you spoke up. 

“He’s had a problem with me since the moment I boarded the  _ Night Buzzard. _ ” you said. “Why?”

Kylo looked out on the empty arena, the two halves of Trudgen’s machete still laying forgotten on the dusty ground. “He’s always been resistant to change.” Kylo said, his voice betraying no emotion. 

You waited for him to elaborate, but he didn’t. He didn’t need to. 

You sighed heavily. “So is it the fact that I’m new, or that I’m a woman?”

Kylo gave a little shrug. “Probably the latter.”

You pressed your lips together in a flat line. “Got it.” You braced yourself against the waist-level retaining wall that encircled the arena. “Luckily I’m no stranger to sexists. I can handle him.” 

Kylo leaned so that his back rested against the retaining wall. “I know you can.” He said, crossing his arms over his chest. After a beat, he spoke again. “Tomorrow Cardo and I will take you to the shooting range.”

Grateful for the subject change, you looked over at the firearms mounted on the weapons display. “But you already know I’m a good shot.” you said.

“I know you’re a good sniper,” was Kylo’s reply. “I need to see you with more than just that.”

You felt a smile play across your mouth. “Well then I’m certainly excited for tomorrow.” 

Kylo turned slightly to look at you, a ghost of your smile catching on his full pink lips. “Same here.” he said. He gave you a nod before straightening his spine and starting toward the exit. 

You took one last lingering glance at the machetes on the ground before following him out of the gym and into the barracks.

***

You couldn’t remember the last time that a shower had felt this good.

The warm water seemed endless here. Back at your apartment, you had maybe seven minutes tops before the hot water ran out, and that was during the warm season. 

Here, you’d just taken a shower that must have lasted twenty minutes and every drop of hot water had felt like a blessing from the gods. 

You were dressing in some of the more comfortable black clothes that you and Vicrul had picked out that morning when you heard laughter coming from the kitchen area.  _ That’s right,  _ you thought,  _ Vicrul had said they usually get together and drink the first night on base.  _

Should you go join them? Vicrul had basically extended an invitation to you that morning when he’d asked what you drink. But what if Trudgen was there? You didn’t want to stir up any more trouble for yourself than you already had. 

Your thoughts were interrupted by a knock at your door. You hit a button at the doorway, prompting the iron door to slide open and bring you face to face with Kuruk. 

You gave him a half smile. “Hey.”

It took him a second to reply. “Hey. Feeling better?”

You quirked an eyebrow. “Better than what?” 

“Oh, well I, um, I assumed.... After what happened in the gym…” He let his words trail off in an unspoken question. 

You waved your hand dismissively. “That was nothing. I’ve been through much worse.” You changed the subject before he could reply. “What’s going on out there?” You nodded towards the loud raucous laughter that was echoing down the hall. 

“Oh, we’re just having a few drinks.” Kuruk replied, taking the bait. “Might have a dejarik tournament or something later. You’re welcome to join, if you like.” 

You poked your head out the doorway, craning your neck to see if you could make out any faces from the hallway. “Maybe,” you said. After a moment, “Is-”

“Yeah.” Kuruk knew where that sentence was going. “Trudgen’s never been one to turn down a beer. Which is why I completely understand if you don’t want-”

“No, I’ll go.” You halted him mid-sentence. If you stayed in your room tonight, it would send a message to the rest of the Knights that you didn’t think you had earned a spot with them yet. That you didn’t think you belonged. 

Which was exactly what Trudgen wanted you to think. 

You stepped into your combat boots and shrugged on the gorgeous leather jacket you’d gotten that morning. “After all,” you continued, “I carried half of that booze to the speeder. I think I deserve to taste the fruits of my labor.”

Kuruk beamed, gesturing for you to lead the way out the door. “I absolutely agree, and will gladly join you in doing so.” 

  
  


The living area grew significantly quieter when you and Kuruk entered the room. The lull only lasted for about a second, but you noticed it still- the eyes watching you as you turned the corner, their gazes curious. You could only imagine the kinds of thoughts running through their head.  _ Why did Master Ren bring her here? What makes her think she belongs with us? Does she know what she’s getting herself into?  _ You knew they must be thinking them because you had been asking yourself the same questions. 

A hand on your shoulder brought you back to reality. “Relax.” Kuruk’s comforting voice came from behind. You shrugged his hand off your shoulder; you didn’t need his pity right now. The last thing you needed was any special treatment, otherwise you would never be on equal ground with the Knights. 

“Kuruk,” you said, keeping your voice even. “I’ve got this. Okay?” You watched as the little smile shifted into a hard line. He nodded, turning to the array of bottles and glasses on the counter. 

“What’s your poison?” he asked.

After fixing you a whiskey and grabbing a beer for himself, the two of you took a seat on one of the worn black couches. You surveyed the rest of the Knights scattered about the room.

Ushar and Ap’lek were sat together at the dejarik table, the two of them deep in thought and focused on the game. Vicrul sat across from you on the other couch, alongside Trudgen, who seemed to have calmed down from earlier. Thank the maker. You didn’t see Kylo or Cardo anywhere. 

After taking a few sips of your whiskey in silence, you asked Kuruk where they were. “Cardo usually stays in the forge until late. I’m assuming Master Ren is with him.”

You took another sip. “Will I get to see this forge at some point?” 

The corner of his mouth perked up. “Probably tomorrow after you go shooting.” He lifted his beer bottle to his lips. “I’m still a little bitter that I wasn’t invited, by the way.”

“You’re telling me.” Vicrul interjected from his seat on the opposite couch. He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees and whiskey in hand. “I’ve heard so much about our little sharp-shooter over here, but I still haven't even seen her hold a gun.”

You grinned at Vicrul, one eyebrow higher than the other. “You’ll find out how good I am with a gun soon enough.” 

Kuruk laughed. “I told you to be careful, Vic. You’re getting death threats now.”

Vic’s smile only widened. “Careful. Care-ful. Nope, sorry, don’t know what that word means.” 

Trudgen shifted in his seat and leaned over to get a better look at the dejarik board where Ap’lek and Ushar were still locked in a standstill. “You two gonna be done anytime soon?” he called over to them. “Not really a tournament if the first match hogs the board the whole night.”

Ap’lek kept his eyes zeroed in on Ushar, leaning forward and moving his eyebrows shiftily as if he were trying to psych his opponent out. “Patience, Trudgen.” he said, unmoving. “It takes time to knock a master on his ass.” 

Ushar muttered his reply with equal focus. “I’d take the compliment, but I’m not sure to whom you were referring.” 

Kuruk leaned over to stage-whisper in your ear. “This is how they are with any game that involves strategy.” 

“And if strategy isn’t in the rules,” Vicrul chimed in, “they start strategizing anyway.” 

You let your gaze drift to a shelf embedded into the wall next to the couch. Sitting on the bottom shelf were several different boxes, varying in size. They looked to be other variations of card and board games, but you couldn’t tell what they were from where you were sitting. 

You handed your drink to Kuruk and walked over to the shelf to get a better look. If they already had dejarik, it was possible that they might also have…

“Hah!” you exclaimed, taking one box in particular from the shelf and holding it aloft. “Crokin!”

Trudgen, surprisingly, was the first to speak. “ _ You _ know how to play Crokin?”

You turned to face him. The shelf had been only a few feet from where he was sitting, so you were now sitting on your knees right next to him, your eyes just about level with his. 

You nodded. “I learned it when I was pulling a job on some border moon. I’m probably a little rusty, but I remember loving this game.”

Trudgen looked as if he was weighing the pros and cons of having an actual conversation with you. Apparently, there were enough pros. 

“I think I’m the only one here who knows how to play.” he said. “I’ve never had the patience to 

teach these idiots.”

You snorted. “Well they really are idiots if they can’t figure it out.” You opened up the box and began to set up the hexagonal board, pegs and discs. “The game is simple. You flick these discs across the board and either try to hit your opponent’s discs or land yours in the center of the board. You get different amounts of points depending on what you choose to do.” You looked at Vicrul and Kuruk, both of whom were listening intently as they sipped their drinks. 

You turned to Trudgen. “Since you and I know the game best, we could play a practice round as teams with Kuruk and Vicrul.” you paused, then added, “If you want.”

He eyed you skeptically. Finally, he took a large swig of his drink and responded. “Fine. But once they get the gist of it,” his lip curled into a predatory smirk. “We make it a little more interesting.”

“Yeah, strip poker.” Vicrul drawled, waggling his eyebrows. “I like the way you think, Trudy.”

You expected Trudgen to tell him off, but he just shrugged. “Bet whatever you like.” Trudgen said, “I don’t care as long as it’s risky. That’s what makes it fun.” he raised a condescending eyebrow at you. “Just promise not to cry when you end up broke at the end of the night.”

You met his eyes with a mischievous glance. “Who says I’m going to bet credits?”

That seemed to intrigue him. “Oh?” he prodded, hoping for you to elaborate. 

You shook your head. “Practice round first. Then, I propose,” you glanced around to make sure everyone was listening. “we make it a drinking game.”

Vicrul started giggling. “Oooohh you’re going to regret that proposal, princess.” he clapped his hands and rubbed them together as he began studying the board a little more closely. “So tell me again how to play this game.”

***

Trudgen was actually  _ really  _ good at Crokin.

You were thankful that the first round hadn’t had anything of value at stake. He and Vicrul had absolutely smoked you and Kuruk in less than ten minutes. The next round, however, the drinking game commenced. Kuruk and Vicrul played against each other on their own, with you and Trudgen making up rules as you went along. Noticing patterns, then making drinking rules based off what you saw the players succeed and fail at made for a very fun time for all of you. The two of you would call out rules like “Whoever misses two shots in a row has to finish their drink.” Sometimes, the rules were a secret; for example, at one point you and Kuruk made a secret rule that determined who would drink based on which curse word Vicrul yelled whenever he missed. Kuruk drank for ‘fuck’, you drank for ‘dammit’. This caused the two of you to erupt into fits of laughter after almost each of his turns, which led to Vicrul and Trudgen yelling confusedly to ask you why you were laughing, which only made the two of you laugh even harder.

You were about three drinks in when Kylo and Cardo came in through the front door. The whole room went silent, save for the rustling sound of the six of you scrambling to your feet. Luckily, you remembered to join them in greeting the Supreme Leader in unison.

“Master Ren.” 

Kylo didn’t say anything in return, instead letting his eyes curiously sweep over the room. His eyes lingered on you, as well as the empty glasses and bottles sitting in various places throughout the space. He glanced at the Crokin board on the coffee table, then finally spoke.

“I don’t think I’ve seen this game before.” He closed the front door, making his way over to the couch. For a second he just stood there silently in front of Kuruk, and it took you a moment to register that he was wordlessly telling Kuruk to give up his seat. Once Kuruk understood, he quickly moved to one of the chairs that sat against the wall. With that, Kylo sat down beside you on the couch. The rest of you waited for him to sit first before following his lead and taking your own seats. 

You weren’t sure how to react to Kylo sitting so close to you; you weren’t used to people encroaching on your personal space without asking. He filled the space beside you effortlessly, relaxing back into the leather cushions and hoisting an ankle up to rest on his knee. He even stretched out an arm to rest across the top of the cushions behind you. A silent show of power. Ownership, even. You knew you shouldn’t like it, but....after three drinks, it released a flush of warmth in your lower abdomen. 

After a second, you realized that Kylo was staring at you. He smirked. “Are you going to tell me how to play?”

Your eyes widened. “You want  _ me, _ ” you asked, “to teach  _ you _ ?” You couldn’t help grinning. “I thought  _ you _ wanted to train  _ me _ ?”

Kylo rolled his eyes, turning his attention to Kuruk. “What’s she drinking?”

Kuruk stood, already going for the kitchen. “Whiskey.”

“Get one for me too.” Kylo called after him. Then he looked at you, muttering, “Now tell me what the rules are, little ghost.”

  
  


***

“Alright,” cried Vicrul, slamming his glass down on the coffee table, causing his drink to slosh over the rim of his glass and drip onto the wooden surface. “I’m tired of this fucking game.” He glanced around the room. “We need a new one.”

Most of the people in the room were now thoroughly wasted, including yourself, save for Kylo and Cardo since they had joined in the festivities later in the game. It wasn’t for lack of trying though; the two of them had been throwing back drinks like tomorrow would never come. You got the feeling that they didn’t get to let loose very often, so you were happy to see these men relax a bit. 

Kylo took the nearly empty glass from your hand and stood up to get refills from the kitchen. “What do you suggest, Vic?” he called.

Vicrul zeroed in on you, his eyes shining with mischief. “Never Have I Ever.” 

You rolled your eyes, accompanied by groans and evil chuckles throughout the room. Ap’lek and Ushar had finally finished their game of dejarik (Ushar emerged the victor) so now all of the Knights were sat around the coffee table, drinks in hand. 

Trudgen shook his head in disbelief. “What are we, teenagers?” he asked. 

Vicrul downed the rest of his beer and leaned back into the couch, propping his feet up on the edge of the table. Ignoring Trudgen, he splayed a hand in front of him, all five fingers fanned out in equal measure. 

“Never have I ever,” he began, “crashed a speeder.” Vicrul looked pointedly at Trudgen, who heaved a heavy sigh and reluctantly held up four fingers. 

“This is so stupid.” muttered Trudgen. You chuckled when you noticed Kuruk also put down a finger. 

Kylo re-entered the room with a glass of whiskey in his hand, and resumed his post next to you on the couch, his arm stretching out behind you once more. He placed the glass down on the coffee table, then to your surprise held up four fingers.

A lopsided smile stretched across your face. “You crashed a speeder?” you asked incredulously. 

Kylo suppressed a smile and avoided your eyes. “I was eleven.” He said, as if that was all the explanation you needed. If anything, you had even more questions- but you knew they weren’t questions that you could ask in front of his Knights. Drunk or not, you got the feeling that his past wasn’t something he often spoke about with them.

Kuruk spoke up next. “I’ve got one.” he said with an evil twinkle in his eye. “Never have I ever fucked a prostitute.” 

The room chorused with groans as fingers from everyone but Kuruk and Cardo fell all around you. And, after a thought dawned on you, one of your fingers went down too. 

All eyes darted to you, most notably, Kylo’s. Vicrul’s jaw was practically on the floor. “Okay, there’s a story that goes with this and I need to hear it.” he said. 

You shrugged your shoulders. “A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.” you said, before adding on “But if it makes a difference, she didn’t charge me for it.” 

Vicrul started to say something in reply, but couldn’t seem to settle on the words to use. That was when you felt a strange shift in the energy of the room.

You couldn’t quite place it, but it was strong. It started in your chest, creating a tightening sensation and working itself lower, warming you like the whiskey you’d been sipping on all night. It was heavy, suffocating… exciting. And you could tell that feeling was shared by everyone in the room. 

Speaking of whiskey, you suddenly wanted more. 

You turned to Kylo, realizing that he had taken your glass to the kitchen but only returned with his own. “Where’d you put my drink?” You asked. 

Kylo’s expression was indiscernible, his eyebrows pulled low over his eyes with lips slightly parted. It looked like…restraint? 

“I think you’ve had enough.” he said curtly, and you noticed a shift in his voice, too. It was huskier, deeper than the joking tone he’d been using before. 

You scoffed, the alcohol in your system making you feel a little brasher than usual. “I’m fine,  _ Supreme Leader. _ ” you mocked. You started to stand up, but he pulled you back down. He squeezed your wrist, prompting you to turn your face to his.

“I said,” he repeated, his voice strained, “you’ve had  _ enough. _ ” He stared you down, and you could now definitively say that he  _ was _ indeed restraining himself. You felt a blush starting to creep across your cheeks, and that warm feeling in your stomach was creeping down lower and lower now. 

Vicrul cleared his throat across the room, and you whipped your gaze to meet his, grateful for the distraction. Ripping your hand away from Kylo’s, you jammed both of your hands to rest in your lap between your legs. What was going on with you? 

Vicrul was studying your every move, and when he saw you shove your hands between your legs, he grinned ever so slightly. 

“Never have I ever used the Force in the bedroom.” 

You heard snickering from a couple of the Knights around you, and watched as a surprising number of them put down another finger. Ushar was the first you noticed- you hadn’t even realized he was playing- then Ap’lek, even Kuruk. And Vicrul-

“Wait, you’re only supposed to put a finger down if you’ve done it.” you said, your accusation directed toward Vicrul. “But you just said-”

Vicrul had a shameless smile plastered across his face. “I know the rules, princess.” 

Your face was the picture of disbelief. You shook your head. “Unbelievable. Are you seeing this?” You jerked your thumb in Vic’s direction and turned to face Kylo, but your eyes fell on his fingers instead. 

All two of them. 

Your eyebrows knit together in confusion. “But why would someone..?” Then realization hit you.

Oh. 

Kylo’s two fingers took on a whole new meaning now. 

_ Oh.  _

You had never even thought to….you had never tried….

There was no fighting the warmth in your cheeks now. Surrounding you were men who all had so much more experience using the Force than you did. They were so comfortable with using it, in fact, that most of them had even used it to  _ get off.  _ To get  _ other people  _ off. Possibilities were rushing through your mind at the speed of light, and the warming sensation between your legs was getting stronger by the second. 

  
  


Kylo stood up abruptly. “I think now’s a good time to call it a night.” The authority in his voice was unmistakable, and you weren’t the only one to notice it. A couple of the knights muttered a slurred “Yes, Master.” but most of you just started toward the door, eager to get to bed. 

You all continued down the hallway, one by one disappearing behind your respective bedroom doors. Finally, you reached the end of the hall and stopped by your door. 

Right next to Kylo. Whose door was across the hall from yours. 

Wonderful. 

You stared at the Supreme Leader. You couldn’t stop thinking about Vicrul’s last Never Have I ever… the idea of using the Force for something so obscene. What could it be used for? What had  _ Kylo  _ used it for?

The Supreme Leader’s gaze was intense, focused on you- all of you. You noticed his eyes roving over your face. They drifted down to your lips. Your neck. The slope of your breasts where they disappeared beneath your tank top. 

You started to feel your nipples hardening, and pulled your jacket closed to cover yourself. “Night.” you said, opening your door and slipping behind it before closing it quickly. Once it was closed, you shrugged off your jacket as if it were on fire, stripping out of your boots and pants with equal speed.

You weren’t what you would consider a very…  _ sexually active  _ person by any means. Of course you’d had sex plenty of times; a woman had needs, after all. But you didn’t make a habit of getting attached to people, which meant that you almost exclusively stuck to one-night-stands, and they were few and far between. Evidently, you were _ very  _ pent up.

You had technically told the truth earlier- one of your fuck buddies a few years back had been a prostitute at the time. But that was her  _ job.  _ You were a friend with benefits. Different situation, different rules. You’d met Jem in a bar while tracking a bounty in Canto Bight. She was high-class, experienced and intelligent- nothing like the prostitutes back on Coruscant. It hadn’t even been her body that attracted you at first; it was the conversation. Her mind was fascinating to you and before you knew it, the two of you had left the bar and moved to her upstairs apartment. Talking became staring, staring led to kissing, kissing led to touching…

Just thinking about Jem, you started to wonder how your little entanglements would have gone if you had known you could have used the Force. What could you have done to her? How could you have made her whimper, made her moan even louder than you had using just your fingers and tongue?

You laid back onto your bed, stripped bare out of everything except your thin gray tank top. The alcohol had numbed your senses, causing your skin to tingle as you let your fingers lightly graze over your collarbone. You drew them lower, swirling the pad of your fingertip around the hardened bud of your nipple while your other hand went lower. Your fingers drifted past the hem of your top, over your belly button, over your pubic bone, until…

Fuck. 

You were so wet.

It was embarrassing, really. Had it actually been so long since you’d had sex that just the thought of it was enough to get you going? You blushed as you dipped a finger into the wetness at your entrance, bringing it up to trace slick circles around your clit. The muscles in your face relaxed instantly, exhaling at the sensation between your legs. It took everything in you not to moan, but you knew that if you did, the Knights surrounding you would know exactly what you were doing in there. 

You tried to focus on your memories of Jem. You thought about her jade-colored skin, her hazelnut eyes, the way her lips had felt on your neck when she’d finally wrestled her way on top- even though that position didn’t tend to last long. You started moving your finger in a vertical motion, slipping between your folds down to your entrance and inserting your finger just to the first knuckle before bringing it back up to your clit, then starting back down again. The sensation drove you crazy, bringing you closer to that sweet spot that you craved but could never quite get to without help.

Your eyes flew open, remembering what had gotten you so horny in the first place.  _ The Force. _

You tentatively raised your hand to hover over your hips, ignoring the feeling of loss that came when your finger left your folds. Calling on the Force, you tried cautiously to use it to draw circles around your clit, just like your finger had done. You focused, channeling all of your energy into the idea, hoping you could think it into fruition.

Nothing happened. 

You huffed, angry that someone who was supposedly a ‘gifted’ Force user couldn’t even successfully use it for something as simple as  _ masturbation.  _ Frustrated, you thrust your fingers back to your clit, rubbing it in circles with two fingers this time instead of one, pressing down even harder than before and gasping at the effect. Your mouth flew open and your eyes fluttered closed, feeling your fingers bring you back to that edge. 

Determined to get your release, your thoughts drifted back to Jem. You closed your eyes and remembered the feeling of her hands grasping your tits, kneading the soft, supple flesh and bringing her lips to suck on your nipples, swirl her tongue around the soft bud until it hardened. You remembered the way that tongue had felt when it slipped between your folds like your fingers did now. Her warm, wet tongue, drawing lazy patterns over your clit until you were just about ready to flip her over and grind on her face until you’d drenched those glossy lips with cum. 

Your thoughts were hazy now, clouded with a combination of exhaustion, lust and whiskey. You conjured her in your memory, her face buried so deep into your pussy that all you could do to keep from going over the edge was tangle your fingers in her shiny black hair. You pictured yourself grasping onto her dark tresses, shoving her face deeper onto you, but your reverie seemed to have a mind of its own. Because instead of the obedient little Mirialan girl you remembered, the face that looked up at you from between your legs wasn’t Jem’s anymore.

It was Kylo Ren’s. 

Eyebrows raised, your breathing quickened as you felt a fresh wave of wetness hit your pussy, and you wasted no time in using it to draw even hastier circles around your clit. Your imagination was putting on a tantalizing show for you; Kylo Ren, gloriously bare with his eyes looking up at you possessively from between your thighs as he dove back down to let your juices coat his lips. You gasped as you imagined what he would feel like, his nose pressing against your clit as his warm, wet tongue lapped at your entrance. You imagined his long fingers sliding into you, the length of them easily reaching your g-spot, pumping in, up, and out with a speed that you knew would drive you absolutely crazy. It would be so easy for him to play you like a fucking harp, knowing just how to touch you, how hard he needed to go in order to bring you to the edge, and it was just _ so _ easy to imagine because his hands were practically  _ made  _ for sex….

Your eyes flew open when you realized how close you were. Your fingers quickened, not even drawing circles anymore and just rubbing back and forth as quickly as you could, aching for release. Your imagination was out of control, unable to decide who to picture between your legs. Sometimes it looked like Kylo, then it was back to Jem, but then you weren’t picturing either of them anymore. Instead it was Kuruk, his golden hair hanging loose over your hip bones. When he looked up, his eyes suddenly took on a paler shade of blue, and then it was Vicrul, smirking smugly up at you as he pumped his fingers into you at an unforgiving pace. 

You were so close, you knew you would cum any second. You desperately clung to any thoughts that might drive you over the edge; Kylo’s restrained gaze as his eyes roved over your skin. Vicrul when he’d stared you down, knowing full well that you were going to try and use the Force on yourself later now that he had suggested it. 

You imagined Vicrul fingering you until you screamed. 

Kylo making you cum with his mouth as he jerked his cock, getting ready to make you cum all over again now that you were nice and tight for him. 

You imagined their voices murmuring praises in your ear, coaxing you over that edge.

Princess. 

_ Little Ghost. _

That was what did it; their deep baritones echoing in your head as you finally reached your release. Your legs went stiff and threatened to close as you rode out your orgasm, arching your spine and throwing your head back into your pillow. Slowly, your spasms grew further apart, your walls opening and closing until the pulses were subdued to a flutter. You laid there, spent but still vaguely unsatisfied. 

You knew that those thoughts were going to haunt you later. You were now living with a team of men who were all skilled with the Force, some of which- if not all- had the ability to invade people’s minds. Nothing was safe. 

However, the hazy cloud of drunkenness and post-orgasmic bliss was enough to convince you that that was a problem for  _ future _ you. So you simply pulled up the covers from the foot of your bed and drifted off to sleep. 

You would later realize that this was the first night in a very long while that you had fallen asleep without Dorothy under your pillow. 

***

Unbeknownst to you, your Force signature had reached out so far that it had blanketed the entirety of the barracks. Each of the Knights found themselves similarly pent-up in their rooms, aching for release in the same way that you had been. Luckily, the majority of them had not recognized this energy signature as yours.

Save for three of them. 

Kuruk, who had left the room eager to satisfy his needs, had actually done all that he could to  _ avoid _ thinking about you. However, at a certain point in the night he had felt a wave of energy hit him with a familiar feeling of serenity. It was the type of serenity you feel when you know something big is coming, and you know you’re powerless to stop it so you just surrender to it. So that’s what he did. He surrendered to the feeling, and it wasn’t until he was already stroking his cock with firm tenderness, ready to bring himself over the edge and back, that he realized the feeling was familiar because it reminded him of  _ you.  _ Once he’d understood that, his climax was inevitable. 

Vicrul had started jerking his cock the moment his bedroom door had shut. Unlike Kuruk, he did nothing  _ but  _ think about you. The way you’d looked so bold when you’d admitted you’d fucked a prostitute, the way he imagined you’d looked when fucking said prostitute, and especially the delicious look on your face when you’d realized there was a potential use of the Force that you hadn’t ever thought about- and how fucking  _ filthy  _ it was. He wondered what you’d do if he ended up being the one to show you what the Force was capable of, wondered how you’d writhe if he used it to hold you down  _ and  _ make you fall apart at your core all at once, wondered what his name would sound like if he pulled it from your lips amidst the pretty little moans he wanted to hear just as badly. When he’d felt your Force signature reach his room, his open mouth twisted up into a shameless smile. He could feel it, your yearning for release. He had half a mind to get up and help you find it, but he knew better than to try and fuck the new girl. Master Ren had put you in the room across from his own, and that didn’t escape Vic’s notice. It sent a message that Master Ren’s little ghost was off-limits...but that only made Vic want you more.

Kylo Ren had remained standing in the hallway for a full minute after you’d disappeared into your room. He’d stared at your door, knowing full well that he should  _ not  _ bust down your door. That he should  _ not  _ help you rip off all your clothes and proceed to kiss every inch of that neck, tasting your pulse on his tongue. He knew that he should  _ not  _ succumb to his very drunken instincts and fuck you into your mattress until he had woken up every last Knight in these barracks with the sound of you screaming his name, screaming for him to stop, screaming for him to keep going- screaming for her  _ Supreme Leader  _ to make her cum on his dick, on his fingers, on his tongue… but he wanted it all the same.

_ Enough.  _ Kylo stopped himself there. He’d entered his room, undressed, laid down on his bed and closed his eyes, and invited sleep to take him. He would wake with a clear head, sober and painfully aware of the boundaries that he needed to respect when it came to the relationship between a Master and his apprentice. He could not teach her  _ and  _ fuck her. She would grow attached to him and it would lead to her downfall. No. This was how it had to be; strictly platonic, no lustful thoughts or temptations getting in the way of-

It was at this point that your signature hit Kylo Ren. 

He recognized you instantly. Thoughts of you rushed through his head- your face glowing red as you grasped Dooku’s lightsaber, its light falling softly on your cheeks. The way that gray tank top had clung to your waist as you pulled off layer upon layer of clothing in his room on the  _ Buzzard.  _ The smug look on your face tonight as he’d watched you put a finger down, launching his imagination into a frenzy of fantasies: you, sitting on the face of some naked Twi’lek or running your tongue along the bottom lip of another human girl- any girl would do, really. He just liked imagining it. Your signature got stronger, beckoning him to you. It was like you were calling him, torturing him. Finally, he gave in and began stroking his cock, which only stoked the fire. It only made him want you more. 

Kylo moved his hand up and down the shaft of his hard dick, knowing that it would feel even better to have the slick from your pussy coating him, instead of sliding his dry, calloused hand over his sensitive cock. His movements were urgent, desperate to reach his release so he could forget he had ever had these thoughts about you. He wanted to erase them from his mind; it would be easier this way. Easier to look at you and see only the face of his apprentice, not the lips that he currently wanted wrapped around the head of his cock, enveloping him in your warm, wet mouth. He could see it now- his hand on your head, grasping your hair as he guided you forcefully onto his cock. He wanted to hear the noises you made, hear you choke on him as he relentlessly fucked your mouth. He would pull you off himself to watch the glistening mixture of his precum and your spit form a long, dripping string from his cock to your lips, only pull you right back and shove his dick down your throat all over again.

It was too much- his hand gripping his cock, squeezing and beating it into submission with such ferocity that he wondered if it might be sore in the morning. Your energy, so intoxicating that he couldn’t think straight, projected images into his head. He saw you on your back, head thrown back into your pillow with your legs threatening to shut together and provide some relief from the torturous sensation between them. It was him who provided that sensation in the fantasy. He imagined himself rolling his tongue around your clit, tasting the flavor of your folds as he pushed your legs open wider. When he made you cum, he would draw it out as long as he possibly could, forcing you to take his fingers as your walls would clamp down and flutter around them. He wanted to hear the desperate sounds you would make when he made you cum over and over, gushing into his eager mouth as he drank you down.

When Kylo finally came, he’d heard an echo of your voice from earlier.  _ Supreme Leader,  _ you had said. He knew it was meant to be a taunt, but the way you had said it- like it was a plea, sickly sweet with longing, and he imagined it as such. And though he hadn’t meant to, he’d met his climax with a plea of his own, even if it was just in his head. Kylo tumbled into his orgasm, his head was flooded with images of you writhing beneath him, and his lips whispered two words as he came to his haunting visions of you: 

_ Little Ghost. _


End file.
